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Hello. My name is Tuna Helper and I'm a Dallas Cowboys Addict...

I consider myself a pretty rational person.

But my love for the Dallas Cowboys isn't.

I've followed games on ESPN during class when I should've been paying attention. I've booked flights at a moments notice to witness Emmitt Smith break the rushing record. I've sat at a bar studying for a final, while watching the Dallas Cowboys pummel Brett Favre. I yell at the TV, as if Brian Stewart can hear me. I get into arguments with my fiancée after losses. I spent an hour inside my parked car drowning my sorrows into a bottle while screaming obscenities at the steering wheel. As if the steering wheel somehow understands the pain of watching the ridiculously slow Amani Toomer break three tackles and darn near walk 50 yards for a touchdown in the biggest game of the season.

This love affair with the Dallas Cowboys is embedded deep in my soul. It started at a young age. My parents were young newlyweds living in a Texas-New Mexico border town with two kids and a newborn son. On Jan. 15, 1978, barely 11-months old, I was caught in a Civil War.

Super Bowl XII. My mother's favorite team was the Dallas Cowboys. My father's? The Denver Broncos.

I was asked to take sides.

I did.

That's all you really need to know about me, but I'll fill in some blanks.
I was born in Texas. West Texas. The part most people turn their nose up in disgust when I mention it. A small town called Andrews, near Odessa/Midland, where my family is from. My family moved to California when I was four. We moved to Bakersfield, which, ironically, is the part of California most people turn their nose up in disgust when I mention it. There were some advantages though. There were a lot of displaced people from Oklahoma, Texas and Arkansas. So there's a huge contingency of Dallas Cowboy fans there. I went to Florida A&M where Bob "Bullet" Hayes was an Olympian before he brought his game-changing speed to the NFL. This is also where an affable and chubby Nate Newton would hone his skills as a Pro-Bowl caliber lineman. This is also where he receives the most grief about his short career as a bumbling criminal. I spent 10 years in the South working as a journalist covering entertainment, before returning to the West Coast to go to law school.

I'm a fan of sports generally, but the Los Angeles Lakers is only other team that rivals my insane infatuation with the Dallas Cowboys. Pau Gasol baby!

I associate the happiest time of my life with the triumphs of my favorite team. I was in San Francisco in 1993 when Alvin Harper switched with Michael Irvin, caught the slant and raced down the field to help seal that Super Bowl birth. I ran out of my dorm screaming and yelling when I learned Jerry Jones signed Deion Sanders in 1995. A Super Bowl ring would soon follow. I watched grown men cry when Emmitt Smith broke the rushing record on that October afternoon in 2002.

And then one glorious day in 2005, I saw this blog. And soon, my work, my school work, my social life, and, sometimes unfortunately, my love life, would take a backseat to checking the blog for updates.

I'm humbled by this experience and I'd like to help Grizz as much as I can. I'll reiterate that I can't hold a candle to his writing and analysis. The same goes for the members of this blog. I didn't have the foresight or optimism that Terry had to see how better our life would be once Antonio Ramiro Romo entered our lives. I also couldn't see the pragmatism in Deke's arguments about our unbelievable season, but they proved true.

I appreciate the comments and suggestions and I'll jump on them as soon as possible. I'm inspired by this blog because we have a lot of diverse opinions here. I'll try and do right by Grizz and do justice to the blog.

0 recs  |  Comment 22 comments

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You made the right choice

No disrespect to your father or anything, but having lived in the Bronco/Cowboy split territory for nearly 20 years, I can say without a doubt that Denver Bronco fans are the pond scum of the human race.

by kk218 on Feb 2, 2008 7:40 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

LOL

You should try living around Iggles fans!  Worst of the worst.

by Cowboys Dominance on Feb 2, 2008 8:20 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

man, i live in sacramento...

so i get wine-and-cheese eating 49er fans...and baby-and-glass eating Raider fans.....ugh....

by Tuna Helper on Feb 2, 2008 8:28 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Baby-and-glass eating...

that explains everything LOL

There are two Adrian Petersons, but there is only one Marion Barber.

by Nelson on Feb 2, 2008 9:13 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Being a Californian,

I also turn my nose down at Bakersfield. No offense ... that's how I was raised.

But I, like you, was also raised a Cowboys fan. I enjoy your comments on this forum, and applaud Grizz for a great selection. Looking forward to seeing the work you and Brandon put out.

Let him who hath understanding Reckon the number of the beast For it is a human number, it's number is 31.

by no1cowboysfan on Feb 2, 2008 8:44 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Wait...

Turn my nose down? That makes no sense. I meant up.

Let him who hath understanding Reckon the number of the beast For it is a human number, it's number is 31.

by no1cowboysfan on Feb 2, 2008 8:54 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Good job!

Looking forward to your contributions.

by llutherr on Feb 2, 2008 9:08 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

so...

Why do people turn their noses up at West Texas and Bakersfield, CA?

There are two Adrian Petersons, but there is only one Marion Barber.

by Nelson on Feb 2, 2008 9:12 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

cause it's nothing there...

West Texas isn't as populous as Dallas, Houston or San Antonio...so there's really nothing to do...(think Friday Night Lights without all of the hot chicks)....it's in the middle of nowhere....and the water is so bad is can stain your teeth....Bakersfield is similar because its relatively far from L.A. and San Francisco and is more known as a second Nashville than the upscale, trendy, bigger cities...also the smog from L.A. comes and settles in the valley, so it's kinda smoggy, ridiculously hot and in the middle of nowhere...

basically, people think both places are full of hicks and in the middle of nowhere....

by Tuna Helper on Feb 2, 2008 9:23 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Good things about Bakersfield:

Korn.

Korn.

Dwight Yoakam.

You find out life's this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small.

by Brandon Worley on Feb 2, 2008 9:38 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

The only two things in Bakersfield

Are gas stations and meth.

Let him who hath understanding Reckon the number of the beast For it is a human number, it's number is 31.

by no1cowboysfan on Feb 3, 2008 1:10 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Kudos TH

I'm looking forward to reading your contributions.

I can empathize with you on the West TX hell. I have been through there more than once, and it is so desolate, as to be downright depressing. Can't comment on Bakersfield (but I do like that song by Buck Owens and Dwight Yoakam.)

I know it's late in the game, but any thoughts on changing that name, Tuna Helper was a good one, yet now he's the enemy again. I'm sure you can come up with an equally witty call sign ;)
Just a suggestion.

"On my signal...unleash Hell." Demarcus Maximus Decimus Ware

by APerfectStar on Feb 2, 2008 10:06 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Congrats to Tuna Helper and Brandon.

Just glad that no one mentioned my name for the job!

Texas slang in a Big Apple minute, by a friendly OED consultant. http://www.barrypopik.com

by barrypopik on Feb 3, 2008 3:33 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Awesome, Hepper

I have family from Andrews. It's not THAT bad...

by dunkman on Feb 3, 2008 8:03 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Hey, West Texas isn't so bad....

I was born and raised in Odessa.  The desert prairie has a beauty all its own - and most importantly, the people would give you the shirts off their back if you needed it (living and dying by the oil field develops unity).  Although, I should say that I have moved away and don't ever plan on living there again.

I look forward to some West texas perspective Tuna.

Long Live Teague - the defender of the STAR

by ibleed blue on Feb 3, 2008 10:55 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

as a person currently living in

Odessa, the only thing Odessa has going for itself is the people.  West TX makes you appreciate the little things, cause Lord knows not much else is offered from this area.  Football is king here and the people here are tough as the sport demands.

by nonotmenever on Feb 3, 2008 2:05 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah

but have you seen the shirts they wear???

by dunkman on Feb 3, 2008 4:38 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Hey the greatest General

in the history of modern warfare came from Midland - Tommy Franks.

Oh and thanks for taking up the sword....er pen for us! Your selection is most welcome.

by lee3022 on Feb 4, 2008 3:32 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

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