The Dark Secret to Why We Lost to the Redskins...

Dallas Cowboys defensive coordinator Brian Stewart during the first half of the game...

"OK ... here's the analysis. WAS has three light, speedy receivers who run quick underneath routes. None of them are very physical and can easily be pushed off their routes with the right personnel.

"Luckily, we have the right personnel. We have three physical CBs who are fairly good at man coverage and have great recovery speed. We also have a great pass rush, so if we can force receivers off their routes at the line, we can get a decent amount of coverage sacks, and maybe a pick here or there when they try to run underneath routes on us.

[The thrilling conclusion after the jump]

"Our gameplan is clear; we ... line up TEN ****ING YARDS off the receivers, allow Jason Campbell to dink-and-dunk on us all the way down the field, and give WAS the momentum for the ENTIRE GAME!

<HALFTIME>

Wade: "But why, Brian? Why have you sabotaged our team? Unless ... YOU'RE NOT BRIAN STEWART AT ALL!"

'Brian': Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha! You fool! You foolish fool! How easily you fell into my trap! I am not Brian Stewart ... I am ... SNYDERBOT 2000, AND I WILL ENSURE THE REDSKINS WIN THEIR FINAL GAME AT TEXAS STADIUM! MUAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

<DUH DUH DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!>

...honestly, as a relatively young Cowboys fan (21) -- one who really started to get a grasp of the game just after we stopped winning -- I've been used to the Cowboys losing all my life. I was raised a Cowboys fan, so there was no getting around it ... I just had to hope for small victories here and there. And through the Gailey years ... through the Campo years ... I had one mantra: 2-14 is alright ... JUST BEAT THE ****ING REDSKINS!

I'm a little more used to Dallas winning now, so I become a wreck after every loss. But I am never more dismal than after a loss to the Redskins (unless its a playoff game loss, or a loss that has playoff implications). A Redskins loss isn't terrible -- it's completely, totally, 100% unacceptable. We need to get that back into the team's culture. Above all else ... BEAT. THE. REDSKINS.