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Thank you BTB Nation, From Tarheel Paul

I feel like i owe it to all of you to say thank you. Thank you for all of the prayers, well wishes, and the heartfelt comments that you left on my behalf. I promise you i read everyone of them and it truly warmed my heart. Sometimes I go back and read them over and over just because it makes me feel a little better.

I would also like to give you an update on how my wife and I are doing. I wish i could say its getting a little bit easier everyday but that would be lie. Its been 37 days since I lost my precious Olivia. I have my moments when i can relax and smile but they don't usually last that long. I know this stuff is depressing but im just trying to speak from my heart. That is why it has taken me so long to post again. I just wasn't quite sure what to say. When you lose your heart and soul everything gets turned upside down and the world no longer makes any sense. And thats about the best way I can describe my feelings. Olivia Grace Leatherman was truly and honestly my heart and soul. She was everything to me. Everyday is a struggle. I have to wake up every morning and instead of packing my little girls lunch and dropping her off at preschool, I basically roll out of bed and go straight to work and try my best to make it through the day as fast as I can just so I can get home and feel close to her. I just miss her so much that its beyond words. My wife and I have been going to grief counseling and that has helped some but after awhile theres not much else you can say. My days basically consist of work, a lot of crying, a lot questiong god, a lot of anger towards god, and loveing my wife like there is no tommorrow. She has been amazingly strong through this whole thing. We have grown even closer. We hold each other up and take turns falling apart. The rest of my family has been great as well. They all hurt and cry with me but they are there to make sure I don't completely lose my mind. Especially my brother. I call him atleast 2 or 3 times a week around 11pm and we just talk and cry together. He is the best big brother you could ask for. He just happens to be a new member to the site as well, he goes by Capn B. Die hard Cowboy fan like myself.

Well, I don't want to depress you guys anymore than what i already have. I apologize for the downer but it helps me to write it out. And I truly do know that WE ARE ALL FAMILY and we care about one another. I love each and everyone one of you and again I ask that you all hug your children a little tighter from now on. Tell them how much you love them even if they get tired of hearing it. I know I did.

Also HUGE THANKS to everyone that agreed to donate the tickets to my wife and I. An amazing gift from a group of amazing people. I just can't thank you enough for that. Olivia would be so happy to know that I get to go to the first Cowboys game at the new stadium. She will be there in my heart! And to end this post I would like to quote my baby girl and say "GO COWBOYS". Thats what she knew football as. Anytime a game was on t.v. it was GO COWBOYS, not football. So once again "GO COWBOYS!!!",

 

With much love and thanks,

Paul

Another user-created commentary provided by a BTB reader.

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