Vikings are Cursed

Another year, another highly-touted Vikings team about to play a playoff game...

But will the 2009 Vikes just build upon their legacy as the NFL's most unfortunate (to put it mildly) team in the postseason? Will Sunday bring another Minnesota Heartbreak?

Has there ever been another NFL team with worse big-game performances than the Minnesota Vikings? Even though the franchise won its first game ever, 37-13, against George Halas's Chicago Bears, the next 49 years have been peppered with massive postseason disasters.

Let's go over them, shall we?

Obviously, there are the four Super Bowl losses, each progressively worst than the last. The interesting thing is, the Vikings of the 70s were renowned for the Purple People Eaters, especially a dominant front four that included Jim Marshall, Carl Eller, Gary Larsen and Alan Page. Two of those four are in the NFL HOF, and Marshall probably should be as well. But despite having this legendary foursome, in their four Super Bowls, with their seasons and legacies on the line, opposing teams were able to rush for 151, 196, 249 and 266 yards, or an average of 215 yards per game. Ouch. They should have renamed themselves the Purple People Greeters; as in, "Hello Mr. Running back, go right this way!"

The Vikings also rode their defense to the NFL's best record in 1970 and 1971, but both years they were bounced out of the playoff in the first round (including once by a little team from Dallas).

You all also might have heard about a first round playoff game in 1975 in which the 12-2 Vikings, led by NFL MVP Fran Tarkenton, played a wildcard team (I think they were a little team from Dallas) at home - but lost on a last-second play called the Hail Murphy, or Hell Murray, or something like that.

It took a while for the Vikings to come back from that loss, even though they did muster up enough gumption to make it to and lose 32-14 in Super Bowl XI.

The Vikes managed to win a home playoff game in 1982, but quickly lost the next week to an NFC East team.

In 1987, the Vikings went on a nice little run, beating two NFC West teams handily, but then losing in crushing fashion to an NFC East team yet again, on the last play of the game. So close! But yet... so far.

The young Vikes thought they found the missing piece to their playoff performance puzzle when they made an innocuous trade in 1989 for the services of Herschel Walker (who came from a little team in Dallas). But they were one-and-done that year in the playoffs, and didn't make the postseason again for four more seasons.

Under new coach Denny Green, the Vikings experienced a renaissance of sorts, making the playoffs from 1992 to 1994. But the more things change, the more things stay the same, as Minnesota lost in the first round each year. Meet the new boss - same as the old boss, it sadly appeared.

In 1998, the Vikings were led by a fantastic rookie named Randy Moss, and a rejuvanated Randall Cunningham at QB. They scored a then-NFL record 556 points and had a sparkling 15-1 record. They also had a placekicker who made every single extra point (64) and every single field goal (39) that he attempted that year - until he was asked to deliver the game-clinching kick late in the 4th quarter in the NFC Championship Game against the Atlanta Falcons. And when Gary Anderson missed the eminently makeable 38-yard FG, letting the Falcons back into the game and leading to a 30-27 overtime loss, the Vikings became the first 15-1 team ever to lose in the playoffs.

The Vikes had another good team in 2000, but when they went to play an NFC East team for the NFC Championship, they laid the biggest, stinkiest egg in modern NFL history, losing 41-0 (!!). Minnesota was outgained 518-114.

Surely now, with the "Greatest Running Back EVER to Star in a Commercial Running In Slow-Motion Without a Shirt On" on their squad, the Vikings will finally shed their well-earned reputation as the weakest link in NFL postseason history. But as Purple Jesus wowed the world in 2007 and won Rookie of the Year, his team stumbled down the stretch, losing their last two regular season games, and just missed the playoffs as a result. When they did make the playoffs in 2008, the AP-led Vikings faced an NFC East team and immediately went gently into that good night. I hate to say it, but it looks like Adrian Peterson is the "best running back to have never won a playoff game." How many times will he fail in the clutch before the Vikings have to go looking for another leader at running back? He's definitely spending too much time making commercials and not enough time being a leader!

On Sunday, the Vikings will take their #2 seeding and favored status at home against an NFC East team (I hear a little team from Dallas). Will history repeat itself and drive Minnesota fans to despair, weeping and gnashing their teeth to Prince songs? Will Brett Favre finally beat a certain team in the playoffs? Will Peterson finally live up to expectations? Only time will tell. All I know for sure is that time is passing by SO EFFING SLOWLY!