FanPost

Belated Christmas Wishes


So I'm getting to my Christmas wishes for all of the Cowboy family about three weeks late, but that is early for me :)

The Staff

  • Jerry Jones: A nice 100oz Humperdink's Hefeweizen to keep you occupied while Stephen and Jason run the show.
  • Stephen Jones: Another 100oz Hefeweizen for Jerry.
  • Jason Garrett: Two Sierra Nevada Celebration Ales. One right now for getting the job. One in the future for your first Super Bowl win.
  • Dave Campo: In honor of your nose, a six-pack of Goose Island Honker Ale to enjoy during your retirement.
  • Joe DeCamillis: A Yuengling Porter. It's not the greatest beer in the world, but Yuengling is the oldest brewery in the US and you need some stability in your life.
  • John Garrett: A Skookum Cascadian Brown Ale from Phillips Brewing Company to go with the other Phillips that you get back.
  • Reggie Herring: A Jolly Pumpkin E.S. Bam Farmhouse Ale to encourage your troops to hit with some extra special BAMs!
  • Hudson Houck: A Deschutes Red Chair NWPA to sit back and relax with.
  • Joe Juraszek: The Cowboys have routinely had fewer injuries than average. I suspect you're part of the reason. For that, you get my thanks and a Great Divide Hercules Double IPA.
  • Bobby King: A Humperdink's Total Disorder Porter to take with you to Houston.
  • Brett Maxie: A Great Divide Samurai Ale to pass on that code to your troops in your new job as DBs coach.
  • Paul Pasqualoni: A New Belgium 1554 Black Ale to sip while watching change pass you by.
  • Skip Peete: A Founder's Devil Dancer Triple IPA to help teach your troops fancy footwork.
  • Wes Phillips: See Bobby King
  • Ray Sherman: A Sierra Nevada Torpedo IPA. Whether you're the de facto offensive coordinator or still the wide receiver's coach, I hope your troops keep attacking.
  • Wade Wilson: As well as the backups did this year, you deserve a nice cold Boulevard Double-Wide IPA.

The Players

  • Tony Romo: Oh, this one was easy. Health and a happy marriage with a Humperdink's Texas Blonde Ale. You also get a Bilbo's Brewpub Return of the King Ale for 2011.
  • Jon Kitna: A Founder's Curmudgeon Ale to enjoy on that bench that you hopefully never have to leave in 2011.
  • Stephen McGee: A New Belgium Mighty Arrow Pale Ale for your future.
  • Marion Barber III: A Great Divide Old Ruffian Barleywine Ale. We'll miss you.
  • Felix Jones: A Lagunitas Hop Stoopid Ale for making defenders feel, well, stoopid.
  • Tashard Choice: You do whatever it takes to win, so you get a Rogue Brewing Dad's Little Helper Malt Beverage.
  • Lonyae Miller: You know, I've only seen you in preseason, so I have to say that your ceiling remains fuzzy to me, so I'm going to give you an Abita Purple Haze Raspberry Wheat.
  • Chris Gronkowski: When Romo gets back, I hope that this Boulder Beer Flashback Ale is the only one you get.
  • Miles Austin: Bill Parcells was one of the few who saw what you could be, so you get a Lost Abbey Gift of the Magi Golden Ale. Just don't drop it.
  • Dez Bryant: A Free State Ad Astra Ale for, well, for obvious reasons. 
  • Roy Williams: An Avery Karma Belgian Ale. You certainly haven't had any other good karma while you've been here.
  • Sam Hurd: You've been a really nice player both on offense and special teams despite not getting much recognition. You've earned a Lost Abbey Devotion Blond Ale in the hopes that you continue to be a Cowboy.
  • Kevin Ogletree: I'm hoping that your 2009 season reflects your talent more than your 2010, so I'm giving you an Avery Brewing Salvation Golden Ale for the sake of your football soul.
  • Jesse Holley: You've battled to be where you are, so you've earned a Left Hand Brewery Warrior IPA.
  • Manny Johnson: If the rest of the receivers stay healthy, you never see the light of day, so you get a Deschutes Hop in the Dark Cascadian Dark Ale.
  • Jason Witten: You get one of my favorites, a Dogfish Head 120-Minute IPA, because you just keep on playing.
  • Martellus Bennett: You get the Dogfish Head 60-Minute IPA, because you're half the player than Witten is.
  • John Phillips: I'm going to give you the Dogfish Head 90-Minute IPA, because you showed during training camp that you might just be Witten-Light.
  • Martin Rucker: A Flat Branch Katy Trail Pale Ale to give you a taste of home, and well, because with Witten, Bennett, and Phillips healthy, you'll have plenty of time to sit at home.
  • Andre Gurode: You're not as good as your Pro Bowl tally would suggest, but still, you're a solid player, so for that, I'm going to give you a Hoppin' Frog Boris the Crusher Imperial Stout.
  • Phil Costa: I think you have a goodly amount of potential, so I'm giving you an Avery Hog Heaven Barleywine in the hopes you reach lineman Nirvana.
  • Kyle Kosier: You're the old wise man that holds the line together, so hopefully this Russian River Pliny the Elder Double IPA will encourage you to stay.
  • Leonard Davis: A Three Floyd's Dreadnought Imperial Ale IPA. You're certainly dreadnought-class, but sadly, dreadnoughts are obsolete. 
  • Montrae Holland: You kind of remind me of a big ol' tree, slow yet powerful and you'd have made a great Ent. Hence, you get a Lagunitas Gnarleywine.
  • Marc Colombo: Your career hasn't been what you hoped, but your attitude was awesome. Still, it's time for a Deschutes Twilight Ale.
  • Doug Free: You were the only solid piece to the offensive line in 2010, earning you a Free State Ironman Imperial Stout.
  • Sam Young: You were a hoss at Notre Dame, and we hope you'll be a hoss here, so you get a Great Divide Hoss Rye Lager.
  • Robert Brewster: I'm hoping you're not a complete bust, so I'm sending you a Left Hand Brewery Good Juju Spice Ale.
  • Alex Barron: You get an AleSmith Old Numbskull Barleywine for one play.
  • Marcus Spears: You've toiled in almost mythical obscurity, but you're a monster against the run. so you get an Great Divide Yeti Imperial Stout.
  • Igor Olshansky: A Russian River Damnation Golden Ale, the brewery for your heritage and the beer for your stupid antics and mediocre play.
  • Jason Hatcher: I'm tired of your inconsistency, so with your contract up, I'm giving you a Left Hand Fade to Black Stout to symbolize your Cowboys tenure.
  • Stephen Bowen: You're so close, you just need a Cigar City Zhukov's Final Push Imperial Stout to put you over the top. 
  • Clifton Geathers: You're a nephew of Jumpy Geathers, the last Wichita State Shocker in the NFL, so you get a River City Tornado Alley IPA. Two other interesting WSU football notes. One, Parcells is also a Shocker. Two, the year *after* they dropped their football program, they were still ranked higher than some teams, including K-State.
  • Jay Ratliff: When you're on your game, a Bell's Hell Hath No Fury... Belgian Dubbel Ale perfectly describes you.
  • Josh Brent: Your career up to this point really suggests that you deserve a Boulevard Long Strange Tripel Belgian Ale.
  • Sean Lissamore: A 300-pounder actually running track events? That calls for an Abita Turbodog Brown Ale.
  • Bradie James: You keep making tackles, I'll keep giving you Bell's Hopslam Double IPAs. 
  • Keith Brooking: A River City Old Town Brown Ale, with an emphasis on the "old."
  • Sean Lee: After the Colts game, what else could you receive but a Boulder Beer Mojo Risin' Double IPA.
  • Leon Williams: I hope you magically improve to a quality backup ILB, so I'm giving you a Great Divide Fresh Hop Pale Ale to improve your chances.
  • DeMarcus Ware: A Stone Brewing Arrogant Bastard Ale. You've earned the right.
  • Anthony Spencer: An Erie Brewing Mad Anthony Ale because I really hope you can channel Mad Anthony Wayne for the rest of your career.
  • Victor Butler: A Rogue Brewing Chipotle Ale because every time you were on the field, things got spicier.
  • Brandon Williams: I've seen some progress from you, but it's slower than I'd like. Hence, I'm going to give you a Boulder Beer Killer Penguin Barleywine in hopes you turn into a cold killer.
  • Kenwin Cummings: Who? Well, you're a Cowboy so you should get something. So, um, well, how about a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale which is about as generic of a microbrew there is.
  • Terence Newman: When you're healthy, you earn Lagunitas Undercover Investigation Shut-Down Ale every time.
  • Mike Jenkins: You need to get it back, so here's a Boulder Beer Mojo IPA to help.
  • Orlando Scandrick: Your first half of 2010 was just brutal and opposing receivers constantly waved goodbye as they passed you, so I'm giving you a Boulevard Seeyoulator Doppelbock in the hopes that it's the last time you get that in 2011.
  • Bryan McCann: Whether you're returning an interception 101 yards or putting the ball on the ground, you're giving someone a reason to celebrate, so you get an Avery Brewing Old Jubilation Ale.
  • Teddy Williams: You're fast. Really, really fast. You therefore get a Phillips Brewing Slipstream Double IPA.
  • Alan Ball: You earned an Erie Brewing Misery Bay IPA after all the misery you caused Cowboy fans. 
  • Gerald Sensabaugh: A Russian River Blind Pig IPA pretty much describes how you played safety in 2010.
  • Daniel McCray and Barry Church: Given that you were rookie FAs the same year, play the same position, and both regarded as good special teamers, I sort of regard you as twins. And since I want to see you both cause Cowboy opponents harm, I'm giving you two a Dogfish Head/Sierra Nevada Life and Limb Strong Beer and a Dogfish Head/Sierra Nevada Limb and Life Small Beer.
  • Akwasi Owusu-Ansah: I'm going to give you a Boulevard Bully Porter because that's how I feel about your chances.
  • Andrew Sendejo: See Kenwin Cummings, but we'll be different and give you a New Belgium Fat Tire Amber Ale.
  • David Buehler: A Left Hand Brewery 400 Pound Monkey IPA so that hopefully the monkey will be in your stomach and not on your back. 
  • Kris Brown: So your FG percentage suggest you're not really significantly more reliable than Buehler, so I'm giving you a Bell's Oracle Double IPA because I foresee your time here to be short.
  • Mat McBriar: You routinely put the opposing offense in a bad place, so I'm giving you a Founders Nemesis One of a Kind Ale.
  • J.P. LaDouceur: A Sam Adams Latitude 48 because your snaps were always in the place they were supposed to be. 

And finally, I'm wishing all of you a happy 2011, so I wish you all the beverage of your choice. For myself, I'm going to go have a few Schlafly APAs.

Another user-created commentary provided by a BTB reader.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Blogging The Boys

You must be a member of Blogging The Boys to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Blogging The Boys. You should read them.

Join Blogging The Boys

You must be a member of Blogging The Boys to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Blogging The Boys. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker