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2011 NFL Draft declarations: statements from around the league

The Rams SBNation blog, Turf Show Times, elicited 'statements' from every NFL team about its draft. Follow the link for the full post, here's the NFC East part: NFC East Dallas Cowboys: We locked Jerry Jones in a closet for the benefit of mankind this year. Since he refuses to let us draft offensive tackles in round 1 and we needed a talent at tackle, we literally locked him in the utility closet. Unfortunately, the heat from the water heater melted his face, so you might not see him for a couple of weeks. You're welcome. Philadelphia Eagles: Oh yeah. City of Brotherly Love. Independence Hall. You knew we were gonna get the All-American firefighter, baby! USA! USA! US...what? Danny Watkins is Canadian?! Are there redos? Can we trade him for Stanzi? New York Giants: No, the whole Nigerian thing is not our fault. And yes, this photo was awesome. And so was our draft. Also, gabbagool=capicola. Washington Redskins: When we heard the guys in Dallas locked Jerry Jones in the utility closet, we were gonna try that with Dan Snyder, but we were afraid he'd sue us and the utility closet and whoever made the lock on the door. So we told him that some writer for a small newspaper in British Columbia had written some bad things about him. While he went off to sue Canada, we actually got to take part in the NFL Draft this year.
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