It might be a sin to say it or even to dare think it, but…but…uh….I will be rooting for the Cowboys archrival, the (gag) New (choke) York Football Giants (vomits in mouth), to win Super Bowl XLVI next Sunday against the New England Patriots. There I said it. And I didn’t get struck by lightning!

(deftly ducks rotten tomatoes and old shoes)

Now, before you all start tearing me a new one online, why shouldn’t a Dallas Cowboys fan desire such an outcome?

I believe that football fans should support their divisional opponents in the playoffs (unless of course your favorite team is also in the playoffs) because it reflects well on your team and your division. I always had somewhat positive feelings when NFC East teams like the Giants and Redskins won their Super Bowls, especially the eventual 1982, 1986, 1987 and 1991 Champions, because the Cowboys beat all those teams during their championship runs.

Now, we all know that Dallas blew both their games against the Giants this year, but at least now they have an excuse – they lost to the NFL champs, for pete’s sake. Plus the Redskins beat the Giants twice this year and the Cowboys beat the Redskins twice, so doesn’t that mean Dallas is technically the superior team? Right???

But seriously, the Cowboys lost both games against divisional rivals-turned Super Bowl victors Redskins in 1987 and Giants in 1990, but GAWD it was sweet when, the following season, the Cowboys beat both teams. In fact, Dallas has defeated the “defending Super Bowl champion” from the NFC East in 1983, 1987, 1988, 1991, 1992 and 2008. And it felt damn good when they did it, didn’t it. Yeah it did (gets goosebumps thinking of 1992 season opener).

And let’s not forget about our duty to despise the Patriots in this scenario. Another Super Bowl win next Sunday and Tom Brady will have four rings, which is just disgusting. That’s more than Troy Aikman and twice as many as Roger (crosses self) Staubach. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT???

Since Belichick took over as New England’s coach, he is 4-0 against the Cowboys; Brady is 3-0. Their fans even call their patriotically-named and red-white-and-blue uniformed squad The Real America’s Team. This is unacceptable. Haven’t we suffered enough at the hands of Boston area fans over the last decade?? Imagine how much more obnoxious and insufferable Red Sox/Pats/Larry Bird Nation will be with another effing championship.

HELP US JESUS.

The Cowboys four-year run of 1992-1995 is still better than the Patriots four-year run of 2001-2004 for a number of reasons. In fact, Dallas still has the best four-year stretch of any NFL team since the merger. We will always have that between us. But if the Patriots win against the Giants, that will give Belichick and Brady four championships in 11 seasons, putting them up there with the Steelers of the 70s and the 49ers of the 80s. We cannot in good conscience support such an outcome. My fellow fanatics, we must choose the lesser of two evils. We must root for the NFC East’s own New York Giants. And if you can get the Giants minus 3.5 points you’d be a fool not to.