I know it’s early but I’ll attempt to predict the record of our beloved Cowboys for this upcoming season.
Lest you think that I’m some half-baked self-professed psychic, I’d like to draw your attention to my previously prescient efforts at prognostication.
Last year I picked the Boys to lose in the Super Bowl to the San Diego Chargers. The previous year I had them beating the San Diego Chargers in the Super Bowl for our 6th bling.
Now I know I was a little off and in retrospect I can see that my predictions bordered on lunacy. I mean really, who ever picks San Diego to go to the Super Bowl right?
This is what I really believe will happen. No really. My track record speaks for itself. Jump with me…
Game |
Score |
Record |
Notes |
DAL @ NYG |
23-17 |
1-0 |
Our D harasses Eli into 3 INT’s. And a last minute completion to Austin seals it. |
DAL @ SEA |
33-10 |
2-0 |
Dez breaks out for 202 yds and 3TD’s in a rout. Forced into holding after an injury to McBriar, Romo scampers for a TD on a fake FG attempt. |
TB @ DAL |
13-16 |
3-0 |
A defensive struggle but a late field goal wins it. |
CHI @ DAL |
30-31 |
4-0 |
A shootout and a last second victory on a catch by that most mythical of creatures, the 3rd WR. |
DAL @ BAL |
16-17 |
4-1 |
Ray Rice rips off a run of 94yds in the final minute for a TD. |
DAL @ CAR |
24-17 |
5-1 |
Our D confounds Cam who leads Carolina in rushing yards. |
NYG @ DAL |
38-35 |
5-2 |
We never beat NY at home. A blocked last second field goal by Bruce Carter would’ve sent the game to OT but JG had called timeout forcing a re-kick. |
DAL @ ATL |
17-33 |
5-3 |
Matty Ice, the only overrated QB on the field, comes up big. |
DAL @ PHI |
27-31 |
5-4 |
A close game but our D is doggone tired in the 4th and we know how dogs fare in Vick’s house. |
CLE @ DAL |
10-42 |
6-4 |
Rob Ryan puts on a clinic in game-planning a rookie QB. |
WAS @ DAL |
13-31 |
7-4 |
See Carolina above: insert RGIII for Cam and WAS for CAR |
PHI @ DAL |
10-42 |
8-4 |
A cathartic victory for the Boys. Vick is seen hounding our 3rd string RB for an autograph. |
DAL @ CIN |
20-17 |
9-4 |
We’re on a roll here as CIN bungles a late FG attempt as time expires |
PIT @ DAL |
10-27 |
10-4 |
Roethlisberger inexplicably throws two INT’s at Cowboys corners. |
NO @ DAL |
31-27 |
10-5 |
Only our 2nd home loss of the year. DWare suffers a freak injury when he trips over a roll of Bounty in the locker-room @ halftime. Anthony Spencer almost gets there in time to save Ware from falling. |
DAL @ WAS |
17-13 |
11-5 |
A gritty win against a tough WAS team in spite of 3 fumble recoveries by Stephen Bowen on botched shotgun snaps. |
Wild Card: |
17-33 |
W |
Matty Ice freezes like a deer in the headlights to a relentless pass rush |
Divisional: |
21-20 |
W |
On a frozen field, our DL and LB’s stop a QB sneak by Rodgers as time expires. |
Conference: |
30-20 |
W |
A huge, late pass to Jesse Holley, a mid-season pickup, sends our Boys comfortably on their way to the big one. |
SB XLVII: |
0-57 |
W |
An easy, record breaking victory in the Big Easy as Antonio Ramiro Romo instantly loses 500 lbs of gorilla off his back. |
As you can see, I have been reformed. I’ve learned my lesson. Never again will the Boys lose a Super Bowl to the Chargers. Not while I’m alive.