BTB Grammar School

Principal: Dave Halprin

Counselors: NYHorn, scottmaui

Instructors: Brandon Worley, One Cool Customer, KD Drummond, Tom Ryle, Archie Barberio, Rabblerousr, Coty Saxman

OCC: "Alright everybody, settle down. In case you missed it, that was the bell. So, sit down, close your mouths and open your ears. It's time to learn. Good. Now who remembers where we left off yesterday?"

Rena: "We were talkin' about linebackers, Mr. Customer."

Dire: "Suck up."

Rena: "Bite me."

OCC: "Does anyone have something to add to yesterday's lesson before we begin?"

Howley: "Can I GO to the BATHROOM, Teach?"

OCC: "Class just started. Why didn't you go before you came in here?"

Howley: "DIDN'T have TO GO then."

OCC: "OK, but make it quick."

Howley closed his eyes for a minute in concentration, then smiled and sighed.

Fernie: "Ew. Howley made pee-pee in his pants!"

Cwon: "He didn't get any on you, so quit belly-achin'."

Fernie: "I'm gonna kick your ass at recess, Cwon."

OCC: "Alright, that's enough. Cwon, go see Mr. Halprin."

Cwon: "Why I gotta go to the principal?"

OCC: "You want to stay here and let Fernie kick your ass, instead?"

Cwon: "I'm goin'."

OCC: "And take Burma with you."

Burmafrd: "I didn't say anything!"

OCC: "You were about to, and I'm not in the mood. Now go."

As Cwon and Burma leave the room, Mr. Ryle enters with someone in tow.

OCC: "Well, Mr.Ryle, what have you got here?"

Tom Ryle: "A refugee, it seems."

OCC: "Kitti, it's not time for Mr. Ryle's class yet."

Kitti: "But Mr. Ryle is so nice."

OCC: "We all think Mr. Ryle is nice. But right now you're in my class. Take your seat, please, young lady."

Kitti: "Goodbye, Mr. Ryle." Kitti blushed.

Tom Ryle: "Goodbye, sweetie."

OCC: "Thanks, Tom."

Tom Ryle: "Not a problem."

OCC: "Now, who knows where we left off yesterday?"

Rena: "Anthony Spencer, Mr. Customer."

Dire: "Still a suck up."

Rena: "Bite me, again."

Mensa: "Spencer stinks!"

Sado: "He's doing it again! Take it back!"

Mensa: "OK, I take it back. Spencer doesn't stink. He really, really stinks."

Sado: "I hope you sit on a tack."

Mensa: "Pfffft."

OCC: "Can we have a little order in here, please?"

Nick: "Quit!"

OCC: "What now, Nick?"

Nick: "Paul's touching me!"

Paul: "Nick touched me first!"

Nick: "Trueblue touched me first!"

Trueblue: "Did not!"

Paul: "OOOOWWWW! Antonio shot me in the butt with a paper clip!"

Antonio: "You show the crack, you're gettin' popped."

Kitti: "HaHa! Antonio said 'crack'."

Paul: "I hate all of you!"

Nick: "Not as much as we hate you."

Tanstaafl: "Methinks da cuddly-wuddlies duz hide Hyde and Jeckyll da trueness in dem I's. Ayes. Eyes."

Antonio: "Huh?"

BlueNSilverBlood: "He said drop the act and just admit you guys are in love."

Trueblue: "Gross!"

Tanstaafl: "You're welcome."

Terry: "Mr. Customer, when are we goin' to talk about Romo?"

OCC: "When we get to the offense, Terry."

Scraig: "Romo blows. He couldn't carry McGee's jock!"

Blue-eyed Devil: "Are you kiddin'? McGee couldn't carry McGee's jock."

Dire: "Word."

Howley: "Hey, TEACH, can I go to the bathroom AGAIN."

OCC: "For Pete's sake, you just went!"

Howley: "NOW I have to POOP."

Fernie: "Please, Mr. Customer, make him use the toilet."

OCC: "Yes, the toilet. Go to the restroom and do what you have to do. But make it quick, it's almost time for snacks."

While Howley was squishing his way out of the classroom, Skinny leaped from his desk and scurried to the blackboard, scribbling furiously with a piece of chalk.

Skinny: "Snacks!"

OCC: "Very good, Skinny. Perfect likeness of Lumpy."

Paul: "Ha! That always cracks me up."

Antonio: "Speakin' of cracks..." WHAP!!

Paul: "OOOOWWWW! He did it again!"

Nick: "Serves ya right. You suck."

Dire: "HeHe."

OCC: "Come on now, kids. I would like to get some work done today before class is over. Could we all just calm down and.....What's that noise?"

Skinny: "What noise, sir?"

OCC: "That scratching noise. Jed, are you carving slashies in the desk again?"

Jed: "Holy Cow, Mr. C. Of course not. You said not to do that anymore."

OCC: "Then what was that noise?"

Jed: "Me carvin' something else in the desk."

OCC: "What were you carving this time?"

Jed: " 'It puts the lotion in the basket.' "

Ham: "Fanshot."

OCC: "OK. I'm goin to try this one more time..." Knock, knock, knock.

Archie Barberio: "Mr. Customer? You got a minute?"

OCC: "Sure. Why not. These lunatics don't need to learn anything today. Archie, what could possibly be so important that you interrupt my class?"

Archie: "Well, Mr. Sensitive, I thought you should know that Howley is beating the snot out of Cwon and Burma in the restroom."

OCC: "What?"

Archie: "Yeah. Apparently, he ran into them in the hall and they made a joke about him wetting his pants. Howley drug them into the bathroom and is using a yard stick to play pinata with their heads."

OCC: "Why aren't you breaking it up?"

Archia: "I thought I'd give him a minute."

OCC: "Let's go. Alright, kids. I'm going to leave the room for a few minutes. Until I get back, Fernie's in charge. And you know what that means, right?"

Everyone in unison: "If we get out of line, Fernie'll kick our ass."

OCC: "Wow. They are capable of learning. Who would of thought it?"

Another user-created commentary provided by a BTB reader.

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