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Rhodri's Week 1 2112-pack.



Rejoice faithful readers (both of you), I have returned after a long tumultuous year. My apologies for not continuing my 2112-packs last year, but life is life. However, it is now once again time to award appropriate beverages to those who for whatever reason caught my attention during this week’s game. Follow past the jump for this week's beers that for some strange reason taste especially tasty this week.

1. The first and easiest award this week goes to Tony Romo. He led his army in a strong campaign to reclaim some of the ground taken by a despised yet powerful foe despite working with troops whose enthusiasm sometimes outweighed their skill. Congratulations, Tony, you have earned yourself a Cigar City Brewing (Tampa, Florida) Marshal Zhukov Imperial Stout for that display of generalship.

2. OK, so where the heck did this come from? I wasn’t one of those just ready to chop you down, Mr. Ogletree, but I sort of expected the best I could hope from you, Harris, and Beasley was to combine for 5-6 catches for hopefully 80 yards picking at the depleted secondary and the mediocre coverage skills of some of New York’s linebackers. Looking at that 8/114/2 line makes me wonder whether I just went through the Looking Glass. So in honor of you doing your best vorpal blade snicker-snack on the Giants secondary, I award you a Bandersnatch (Tempe, AZ) Jumtum Tree Barley Wine.

3. Scottish ales often are very strong and powerfully flavored. They can, in fact, be quite intimidating. Hence, they often have names that are strong and powerful and tough. And if you’re a brewery named Tommyknocker, this is especially true. So, your reward as a brewery is to give beer to the inestimable Jason Witten. Jason, you didn't have your best game ever. In fact, it was decidedly mediocre, but I’m sure not brave enough to actually criticize you. Instead, I’ll join you in having that Tommyknocker (Idaho Springs, CO) Spleen Cleaver Scottish Ale and bask in your awesomeness.

4. Speaking of games that won't be a player's best game ever, though I do recognize that you, Tyron Smith, were handicapped by the timing changes of a new center and as tough an opponent as there in in JPP. Still, you held your own and you had one of the plays of the game. As if those 4 points you saved were not enough of a reward on their own, you receive a Wychwood (Oxfordshire, UK) Dirty Tackle English Bitter for that horsecollar on Michael Boley.

5. You don’t have to go too far to get yours, DeMarcus Ware. In fact, it’s just in Fort Worth at The Covey, where you get one of their “100” Belgian Dark Ales. You’re only 99 sacks away now from earning a Shoreline (Michigan City, IN) Batch 200 Black India Pale Ale. Since I’m not a ridiculous homer, I will assume that it is unlikely for you to reach that total this year, but I’ll have one on ice for you in 2013.

6. Welcome to the NFL for realz realz Bruce Carter. What a wonderful sight to see: short passes over the middle that were contested and even if completed, the receiver was immediately tackled. Oh yeah, and that pursuit when the Giants tried to run outside was damn good, especially as the game went along. You’d have had even better statistics if it weren’t for the greatness that is Sean Lee. I bestow upon you a Bell’s (Kalamazoo, MI) Hopslam Imperial India Pale Ale. Not only is this appropriate for the name and the manly nature of the beer (10% ABV), but the last person to review this beer on BeerAdvocate.com was some guy named tarheels86. Coincidence? I think not. In fact, I bet his name is Paul.

7. Oh, and speaking of Sean Lee, you get one too. If I need to explain this one, then you’ve not been paying attention. He gets an Engine 15 (Jacksonville Beach, FL) Rye of the Tiger American Rye Pale Ale.

8. Less obvious was the work done by Anthony Spencer. He notched a number of pressures, had 7 tackles, and on several of the highlights that showed Eli trying unsuccessfully to find an open receiver, he was in coverage assisting on people like Cruz and Hixon. Since he didn’t get a sack, his work will go unnoticed, but at least he gets a Half-Acre (Chicago, IL) Invisible Force Brown Ale.

9. This one goes out to Hakeem Nicks, Victor Cruz, and Dominick Hixon and was given to you by the firm of Carr, Church, Sensabaugh, Scandrick, Silva, and Claiborne. It comes from one of my favorite breweries, New Holland Brewing Company of Holland, MI, who humorously, accidentally, and very ironically advertised an upcoming celebration of their various India Pale Ales with signs that from any distance farther than 2 feet looked like they said “Hitler Day” when I visited their brewery on Tulip Day in 2011. While there I sampled a number of amazing beers, including this gift from the Dallas secondary, whose coverage means you receive a whole six-pack of New Holland Pigs In A Blanket Smoked Maple Wheat Ale.

10. Welcome back, Jason Hatcher, we definitely missed you. Your 6 hurries included a sack and you were a force in the run game. Yeah, there was that roughing the passer play, but you took it upon yourself to fix your own mistake. So, for the ruins that are the remnants of New York’s offensive line, I give you one of the best IPAs ever, Stone Brewing’s (Escondido, CA) Ruination Double India Pale Ale.

11. So, NBC, I saw what you tried to do there. You got 2 choices, though. One, you can never ever ever show Rob Ryan live. Two, you can keep showing the fun, excitement, and energy that he gives both the team and their fan base. It’s just too bad for you that maybe, every so often, once in a while, on a rare occasion, he might, completely on accident, say something you’d rather we couldn’t lip-read. In this case, *we* loved seeing him after the goal-line stand, almost as much as we loved seeing the goal-line stand itself. So far in 2012, Rob has given us a defense that might just be pretty darn good and for that, and your emotion, (and your language), you get a Smuttynose (Portsmouth, NH) Brewing Ry(e)an Rye Ale.

12. Finally, this one goes out to Jerry. You opened your mouth and we wondered more than just a bit. But you laid out your expectations and if the Cowboys had lost, you’d have had to eat a billionaire-sized portion of crow. However, after this win that you predicted, I give you a C.H. Evans (Albany, NY) Kick-Ass Brown Ale.

Well, there’s this week’s 12-pack. For me, I’m going to have another Erie Brewing (Erie, PA) Mad Anthony American Pale Ale.

Another user-created commentary provided by a BTB reader.

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