You can't make this stuff up.
Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says he listens to talk radio "more than anyone" and that criticism hurts, but deep down, maybe he likes it.
"I think I love the pain," he said in an interview with CBS News correspondent Jan Crawford broadcast Monday on "CBS This Morning." "Certainly, criticism hurts, but it, boy - fuels your ambition. It makes me think, ‘I wanna show them.' "
He is trying to explain (I think) that he uses the pain of losing as a motivator for himself, but once again, the unique owner/general manager/chief spokesman of the Dallas Cowboys has made statements that might just be proof (as if any was needed) that he is way too willing to share his innermost thoughts with anyone who has a camera or a microphone.
Or maybe we got a real look into the mind of the man who has become the face of his team. Is there a masochistic streak to Jones that leads him to sabotage his own team? Does he feel unworthy of success, or is he suffering from some strange guilt over Jimmy Johnson and how he let things fall apart?
Well, probably not. And I certainly am no psychiatrist. It is just hard to read something so outrageous.
Jones then told a story about how he didn't mind a little pain in the doctor's office after a "serious" loss one week.
"I was doing a lot of blood work, and they said, ‘We want to be sure and get this nurse in that really knows how to be gentle and get it done quickly on the first time,' " Jones said. "And I said, ‘This morning, I need one that needs to try 10 times. I want some pain.' "
The reporter asked, "Literally, this happened?"
Jones said, "That happened. And I need to cry a little bit. And so, that's not a bad thing."
A billionaire starts talking about asking for the clumsy nurse so the drawing of blood will hurt as much as possible, without wondering if you haven't stumbled into some mommy porn by accident. Fifty Shades of Blue and Silver, perhaps? Is there any doubt why the rest of the sports world looks at the Dallas Cowboys with a bit of a smirk on their collective face? Really, who says things like Jerry does?
Someone, you have to suspect, who loves the attention. Who doesn't care about who much of a distraction he is. Who, in some ways, sees his team as an extension of himself, or at least his ego.
He talks about needing the pain because he needed to cry a bit. Well, we know a little bit about wanting to cry, or at least scream. We get that feeling frequently. It happens when we watch the team Jerry owns self destruct. Again.
There is a message from Jerry here, of course. He is trying to explain that it hurts him to see the team lose, and he is not trying to hide from the fallout from the media and the fanbase. But it is the unintended messages, as always, that get him in trouble. And I'm not talking about the hints of sadomasochistic tendencies here.
It is the fact that he is so wrapped up in the team that he is not able to see that he may be part of the problem, perhaps the biggest part. He got asked once again about turning over the GM duties to someone else, and he gave the same answer he has given before.
"My experience has been the closer your top management is to the man that writes the check, or the man that is the financial backbone of the team, the better operation you have," he said.
That may be his experience. But I wonder if he has ever heard about being too close to the problem?
There is no doubt that he takes all this to heart. I am sure he feels our pain, and a lot more. Many claims are made that he is only interested in making money, but anyone who really follows Jerry knows that winning and losing are very, very important to him. And not just because it affects the brand, although that is certainly a factor as well. But he wants another ring. He wants enough rings to run out of fingers. He wants to walk into the NFL owners meetings as the reigning Super Bowl champion. Not the owner of the championship team, mind you. He will take personal ownership of any and all future titles that happen under his watch.
He may like the pain, but that is part of the issue. If he is all that comfortable with it, he may not be willing to do what has to be done to stop the pain. If he can even figure out what that is, which, judging from his pronouncement about keeping his GM hat on, he may not be able to.
Meanwhile, we will continue to see sentiments like this:
Yes, he is the most interesting man in any collection of NFL owners. And he probably has had a Dos Equis or two in his time. But we don't need him to be so blasted interesting, while the pain continues. We need him to get it right, no matter what that may entail. It just doesn't look like that is going to happen anytime soon.