Did Ya Ever Stop and Think?



One time, just for you guys, I'm going to post a DCC.

As the unofficial 'official team historian' here at Blogging The Boys, I get to do a lot of digging around in the team's past, and have learned quite a bit about some interesting topics, things like the Dallas Cowboys' Chicken Club. The "club" was born after Clint Murchison was awarded a franchise in the NFL, but this only happened because Washington Redskins owner George Preston Marshall backed out of a deal to sell Mr. Clint the Redskins. Last night it occurred to me just how different the football landscape in Dallas would be had Marshall been a man of his word. (No word yet on the question about Marshall and JimmyK being related, but it seems likely.) Here are the thoughts that popped into my mind, and caused me to lose sleep.

  • For starters, there would have been no need to bring Tom Landry home to coach the new franchise. That means that Landry would have most likely replaced Jim Lee Howell as the head coach of the New York G-strings. Two thoughts immediately come to mind: One, naturally, is that Papa VoldeMara wouldn't have needed to wait until 1986 to win a Super Bowl; the second is that Tom Landry and G-strings just don't mix. I'm not sure which thought turned my stomach, but the Pepto didn't help much.
  • Along the same lines, can anyone imagine having Joe Theismann as the Dallas quarterback? I can't imagine seeing any of our quarterbacks (well at least the legendary ones) on late night TV pitching a "male enhancement product", but I can't say that about Joe. I saw that one recently, and NO, the Pepto didn't help then either. Guess that Theismann fellow has more than one leg that just flops around, huh?
  • Can you imagine any Dallas (male) fans showing up for the game wearing dresses and pig snouts? C'mon man; some things are sacred. Okay, maybe I could (but I'd rather not) see Howley and Hawkbeard doing that, but every fan base does have a few strange ones mixed in. (Yeah, I know Ol' Tom Ryle would be right there with them, but since he is a FPW, I wanted to help him preserve his dignity) Mary Kay might have been a Dallas girl, but there's not enough make up in the world to make those "ladies" look good. Bartender, Gimme a shot of Pepto!
  • Win or lose, through thick and thin, one thing is constant in Dallas: the one attraction that everyone loves is the sideline entertainment. All American males (and at least one German gentleman) love the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. No matter how bad the team is, the DCC rock those little white shorts and boots. As for the Redskins, they have a marching band. REALLY! What is this a friggin' high school? Does anyone want to see Ol' Rabble start off a post with a picture of a 350 pound tuba player dripping sweat in the Dallas heat? I think not. Here guys, have some Pepto.
  • Geez O' Pete; Does anyone out there really want to read a post entitled Fear The Feather? I doubt that even the Cool One could pull that one off. Admittedly though, Fear The Tomahawk does have some potential, but we'll save that one for another day. It's time for a shot of Pepto Cabo Wabo.

I don't know about anyone else, but Lil Kitti has just about exhausted her resources trying to generate some off season prose for your enjoyment. Thank the football gods that camp is just around the corner, and in just a couple weeks the Boys will be goin' fishin' in Ohio. It's been a great off season for the team and I look forward to spending another fall with the finest group of football fans on the planet. It is the community here at Blogging the Boys that make this the site that it is. Thanks to all. Now in the wise words of Ol' Bocephus:


Another user-created commentary provided by a BTB reader.

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