Looks like Jerry needs some Pepto.
I wonder; do you think that one day, when Jerry Jones was young, he wrote one of those "What I want to be when I grow up..." homework assignments where JJ wrote "When I grow up I want to own the most amazing football stadium in the NFL, and inside it I want a store to sell panties"? No doubt, that assignment would not have been well received by the teacher, and Arminta Jones would have been called in for a conference with the principle. I bet the Jones family went through a lot of Pepto when Jerry was growing up.
Well, it has started. Just moments into training camp the injury bug once again found its way on to the Dallas roster. Tyrone Crawford suffered a season ending injury to his Achilles. Hopefully this is just an anomaly on the road to an injury free season, but after last season, as Cowboys fans, we cannot help but wonder if this team might be jinxed. In fact, according to rumor, Garrett called Chip Kelly and asked if he had a recipe for a Pepto smoothie.
Judging by the recent trollfest between Blogging The Boys and Bleeding Green Nation, quite a few stomachs were churning over JimmyK's lame attempt at satire. Kempski applied his "talents" to writing a fanpost to honor his bet with Mfoster; most of us BTBers would be more likely to refer to it as a fraudpost, but at least we got the "Head Bleeder" to acknowledge his debt. Sadly, he certainly didn't pay it in full. That's okay though, we put on our big girl panties and took a swig of Pepto.
Our good friend and intrepid reporter Tennessee_Jed is back on the trail of the real issues coming out of Oxnard this time of year. Nothing escapes the sources that TJ has at his disposal. As a result we, the loyal fans here at BTB get the inside scoop on the real drama that those "professional" writers like Calvin Watkins and JJT are not qualified to cover. In fact, through sources of my own, I have learned that Jerry Jones is frantically trying to disassociate himself with a certain "Glory Hole" at an out of the way gas station in Ventura County. He thinks Jed's "spies" are hot on his heels. It's enough to give a billionaire an ulcer, but Jerry can afford some Pepto.
This just in: Carolina Panthers QB Cam Newton was just seen making his way around the Panthers complex on a Segway. According to at least one tweet that I saw (and wrote, but that's beside the point) this is a new conditioning drill. It seems that new Carolina Head Coach is trying just as hard to "revolutionize" pro football as that guy in Philly is. I don't know about you, but if this is the best he's got, I don't see defensive coaches in the NFC South reaching for the Pepto during Panthers weeks.
In closing we all know that Jerry Jones finally sold the naming rights to his palace in Arlington; Cowboys Stadium is no more. In its place we now have AT&T Stadium. Jones also told the media he wanted it to become "more familiar than the White House". In response, former President, and noted philanderer Bill Clinton remarked "Heck, in my White House, I didn't allow any panties". And you wondered why Hillary chugged so much Pepto.
As I said before; humor is not my forte, but several of you seemed to like the last installment of "Did Ya Ever Stop And Think" so I gave it a second shot. Let me know what you think.