FanPost

It's Time to Help the Football Team in Washington DC Get a New Nickname!

I think we should help the current football team that resides in Washington DC to come up with a new nickname. So, if you will provide me with your thoughts in a comment or three, I will send them on to Daniel Snyder for his approval. Obviously, they need help, since they are unable to come up with a better one on their own.

When thinking of a new nickname, it is VERY important to find one that, while inspiring fear, hatred and disgust, does not offend people. Redskins is NOT a good nickname. The only reason to keep it is familiarity. (I am going to suggest to Mr. Snyder that changing the name would force folks to buy more new merchandise.) There are no people in the world who have red skin, except perhaps the Irish. So, maybe they should go with the Fighting Irish! This is surely a better nickname! One with no racist overtones! What? Still insensitive? Whatever. Let's move on.

Perhaps it would be better to just stick with an animal nickname. The trouble here is which animal to choose. Many great animal nicknames have already been taken. You know when folks are choosing names like Cardinals that the really good names are mostly gone. However, there are still some names left with some zing in them! The shrew, weasel, fox, coyote, wolf, wolverine, cow and ass all remain at large for any football team to adopt.

If they do not choose an animal, they could go with a color, brown is already taken, or an occupation. Senators is a Washington nickname that is rooted in history and failure. That would be suitable.

In any event, I believe it is important for a nickname to reflect on the history or significance of the area where the team is located. Think of the Steelers or 49ers for example. For this reason, I think Washington Wolverines does not work, although it is alliterated and would be winsome, wonderful and otherwise worthy.

Given all of these considerations, I believe the best possible new nickname for the Washington football team is the Asses. The ass is a noble creature, famous for its endurance and lack of cooperation. And they bray very loudly. The ass has a long history of being a mascot in Washington DC. The current ruling party is represented by the ass. It's a natural for Washington DC. Since the football team is made up of males, we can call them the Jackasses. And the cheerleaders can very tastefully and correctly be called Jennyasses. What do you think?! Do you like this suggestion? Make one or three of your own in the comments below and let's help out the football team that resides in our nation's capital to be more politically correct!

Another user-created commentary provided by a BTB reader.

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