FanPost

Yahoo reacts to my Cowboys-only fantasy experiment

For me, fantasy football is broken.

Weekly scoring volatility and drafting players whose success can harm my beloved Cowboys has trapped me in a web of frustration and confused loyalties. With every loss, I grow more disgruntled. With every win, a small part of my sports identity dies.

This is about how I tried to fix the game, employing the principle of Occam's razor to win the league and preserve my real-life fan salvation.

This year, I drafted only Cowboys.

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My first reaction seeing this roster is that, for the first time in my fantasy-playing life, I love every player on my team. This is a group I can get behind 100 percent, three hours a day, 16 days a year.

No longer will my love for America's Team conflict with the success of my fantasy squad. Now, the two worlds have melded in a beautiful synergy. I Am America.

But, as in real life, I had to accept some disappointments along the way. Although I missed out on Dez Bryant by a single pick in the first round, I hit on every other player I targeted for a 94 percent success rate -- the same 94 that DeMarcus Ware wore so proudly in Dallas. I must be doing something right.

So let's see what the fine folks at Yahoo had to say about my draft.

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Ouch. Some zingers in here were really tough to swallow. Worst group of running backs in the league? I don't know; Ryan Williams has looked really good in preseason.

But here's the key passage, the bit that aptly summarizes my outlook:

Failing to acquire a team capable of winning is a bold strategy for success.

I couldn't agree more.

It's clear Yahoo doesn't believe in my team. But I do. I believed in this team more than a decade before it was conceived. We will scratch and we will claw. We will win at least one match this year. I believe this with all of my heart.

In addition to its sage, auto-generated analysis, Yahoo provides a nifty group of infographics, including this one breaking down my team strengths by position:

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It's clear that to win my league championship, I'm going to need the god-kicker Dan Bailey to boot me to the promised land. I have no doubt he's up to the task.

But there is one week where even Dan Bailey can't put my team on his back, and it's also the subject of much of Yahoo's scathing criticism.

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OK, so Yahoo, all my friends and probably anyone reading this have written me off for Week 11. Just chalked it up as a guaranteed loss -- and understandably so.

But I should remind all the doubters of two facts.

First, in eight other matches, my opponents will be hampered constantly by their staggered bye week structure, while my Cowboys squad will be humming along at full strength. I've sacrificed my chances in one match to increase them in eight others -- call it Jerry-mandering.

And second, my league awards negative values for turnovers and points allowed by the defense. This means a win without scoring is still hypothetically possible. Sure, it's unlikely, but if you're going to deny the underdog's right to determine his own destiny on the field, you hate sports.

Prognosis

My goal -- much like that of the real-life Cowboys -- is to barely sneak into the playoffs. Just make the playoffs, baby; after that, anything can happen.

This is somewhat realistic, as eight of 10 teams in my league will advance to post-season play. The natural volatility of fantasy football scoring should, for the first time, aid my cause rather than serve as an endless source of frustration.

I don't want to speak too early, but I think I have perfected the fantasy football experience.

Predicted finish: 3-10, make playoffs

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