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We Get Letters

A week or two ago, I posted an article about Cowboys saloons, asking where folks watched their favorite team. The Oiler Troll has sent me an e-mail about a Cowboys Saloon from the Twilight Zone. Enjoy -- and learn!

Here now, the Troll:

Hi Everybody!

Yes, yes, to some extent we all love blogging as it is a way to be heard and attract attention to ourselves. Oiler Troll is no exception and apologizes for this following post...but it was a little freaky.

Basically, I bet my experience in watching the Cowboys-Seaturds game was different than yours.

Around this time of year, Oiler Troll gets a little blue that his team no longer resides in Texas, so he gets a little restless and must travel far, far away from football. Oiler Troll chose Costa Rica this time.

So Oiler Troll went to the surfing community of Jaco, Costa Rica, unaware of what kind of town that is. Within 2 hours 3 dudes on bikes accosted Oiler Troll demanding, not asking, but demanding openly that he purchase illicit narcotics. Oiler Trolls straits are not quite that dire, thank you.

Oiler Troll and his buddies went barhopping in this humble little town. Most of the bars were pretty lifeless...until we came across a place called ¨The Beatle¨ complete with many, many forms of copyright and trademark enfringements...but Oiler troll will get to why Yoko may want to shut the place down later.

So there are many people there, there is music, and yes, through the crowd Oiler Troll sees a big screen TV with the game on. Decision made - we shall have a drink at The Beatle (we were guessing Ringo was behind it if any of them had anything to do with the place).

The women seemed strangely friendly as we went to pick a seat. We sat down and another woman walked by and ran her fingers through Oiler Troll´s hair as she passed with a smile. Now, this may happen to some of you, but not Oiler Troll. Finally, after we received our beers, another woman pulled ùp a chair next to Oiler troll and dropped her hand in his lap. It occurred to Oiler Troll that hey, this was not an ordinary bar in this humble little surfside town in Costa Rica.

Oiler trolled tried to stammer in his best Spanish, ¨We ain´t had much of a first date yet,¨which was met with a blank stare, a repositioned hand then followed by a sacharrine smile. Oiler troll next asked the woman if she was working. She made some remark that no, but her sister was working the bar.(?)

The waiter then asked us for another beer. We said yes. The woman ordered a drink and then asked us if that was ok. Oiler Troll innocently asked why didn´t the woman get her sister to get her a free drink. This appeared to anger the woman which resulted in her leaving in a huff. She was not pursued.

At this point Demarcus Ware did his thing and got an INT. Sure enough, there was another Cowboys fan and playfully yelled ¨How ´bout them Cowboys!¨ Oiler Troll looked over at the Cowboys fan and noticed that the cheer produced a faint echo cheer from a woman who was giving the Cowboys fan a similar friendliness that the other woman had given Oiler Troll. We settled our tab and got out of there as Drew Henson appropriately enough took a knee to run out the clock.

Putting two and two together, Oiler Troll realized that he was in bar where, well, to keep the Beatle (tm) thing going, yes, money CAN in fact buy me love. I just would not recommend it as your respective Oiler Trollettes would not be cool with it. So yes, Oiler Troll unwittingly walked into a whorehouse in a foreign country and it scared the shit out of him. Oiler Troll later checked the guide book which plain as day described the place accurately as such - another lesson - read the friggin' guide books.

I hope your Cowboys viewing experience was much, much more wholesome.

Read the guide books, Kids.


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