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T.O. Talk

By Dave Halprin

Hey boys and girls, welcome to this week's edition of T.O. Talk. I'm Little T, your host, and this week we`ve got a big treat for you. We'll be talking to Big T, the man himself. So without further delay, here's Big T. (applause, applause)

Hi Big T, you've been my role model ever since you wrote that book about me. So let me ask you, why was that big bully Terence Newman being mean to you?

"He said it was a message for the whole team, but that wasn't directed toward me," [Big T] said.

I'm glad he said that, I was about to say the team would be better off with Champ Bailey playing corner, but you taught me that saying things like that can get you in trouble. So if Newman wasn't being mean to you, why did everybody say that?

"I guess Witten thought he was talking about me too, and now it's a big story about me dividing the locker room," [Big T] said. "But I don't see that happening."

That's good, because we don't like people who divide locker rooms, like that mean guy on your old team, Donovan McNabb. I don't like him. So why is everyone talking about you again? They said you said bad things, but that other guy, Terry Glenn said it, too. I'm confused.

"Sometimes we get in situations where I feel like, and I'm pretty sure he (Terry Glenn) feels the same way, that we can make adjustments and relay information to the coaches as far as some of the things we can do on the field," [Big T] said. "When those things don't happen, then it does get frustrating."

Yeah, that's like when I told my big dummy brother to throw me the ball, but he decided to beat me up instead. I hope those big dummy's over where you live don't beat you up. I wanted to tell my brother he was a booger-eating, doo-doo head. Is that what you want to tell the coaches on your team?

"I think a lot of guys feel that we just need to be a little bit more aggressive offensively," [Big T] said. "We have a lot of weapons. With the things I can do within the offense, it kind of opens not only just this whole offense, but the running backs, other guys one-on-one outside."

I don't know what all that means, but it sure sounded good. Someone said you don't catch the ball when that Tony Homo guy throws it to you. He has a funny name, I thought he was gay until I heard about that Carrie Underalls girl. How can you catch the ball anyway? Look at your finger, that's gross, does that make you drop the ball?

"It's not conscious, but things are happening differently," Owens said. "It's not natural for me, I'll say that."

I'll say it, too, unless it's going to get me in trouble. You say stuff all the time and you always get in trouble.

Well, that's all for this week, it's past my bed time anyway. Bye everybody and bye Big T.

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