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Cowboys news of the weird

You never know what you'll get when you combine a bored journalist and an obscure American holiday. I submit this article as the answer.

In honor of President's Day, the writer speculates on what sports teams our great presidents of the past would play for or support. He did have the good sense to match-up a mythical figure that embodies our collective national pride with a mythical franchise that owns the name "America's Team".

George Washington -- DALLAS COWBOYS.

Our nation's foremost revolutionary general requires a star on his helmet. And "America's Team," however misplaced the moniker may be, would be Washington's team of choice. (Redskin fans must be cringing at the thought. President Washington, now, would cringe at a team named so crassly.) President Washington commanded every room he entered, just as you might imagine Bob Lilly dominating the locker room as Tom Landry's franchise rose to greatness. And leadership? No game was ever over, believed Cowboy fans young and old, as long as Roger Staubach was at quarterback.

In honor of next months holiday we'll be debating whether St. Patrick had the speed and hands to be a quality wide receiver, or was he really just a benchwarmer who drank too much. Personally, if I'm taking a Saint who has a holiday in their honor, I'm taking Old St. Nick. That dude would've made a hell of a nose tackle.