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The City of Brotherly Shove

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Let's get one thing out of the way, never was a city so misnamed as Philadelphia. The City of Brotherly Love? Hardly. Look, you can't be the City of Brotherly Love when you've booed Santa and pelted him with snowballs. Yes, it really happened in 1968. The City of Brotherly Fistfights is more like it. In fact, if any city deserves the "Brotherly Love" moniker it would be San Francisco, but that's another story.

On October 8th of this year the Dallas Cowboys and Terrell Owens will get a full dose of Philly fan fury. This has the potential to make the "Disco Sucks" riot of Chicago White Sox fame look like my grandmother's sewing circle. We're talking about a city that actually needed its own court and jail in the bowels of the stadium. I'm not kidding; it had an actual judge taking cases.

If you're looking to power up some electronic gadgets, just go to the game and scoop up all the batteries thrown onto the field. I'm thinking of buying stock in Duracell over the summer, I expect demand to surge in early October. Last year we didn't even have Terrell Owens and they pelted our team bus with eggs. This was on the same day they held mock burials of Owens' jerseys.

The fact that the game will be played at 4:15 EST means you get the one element needed to really kick the party into gear, alcohol induced stupidity. I'm not saying that Philly fans are drunks, but I've heard that Otis from Mayberry is their patron saint. You would think they would opt for the classier Dean Martin, but the next time anyone accuses the Philly fans of class will be the first.

No incident reveals their lack of class more than cheering as the injured Michael Irvin was laid out on the concrete of that hellhole they called the Vet. This was the moment when their true nature was revealed for all to see.

This October, approximately six months from today, Terrell Owens will join a long list of people who have endured the drunken scorn of the village idiots. Expect it to be an ugly afternoon, lacking anything that remotely resembles "Brotherly Love". Just ask Santa Claus.

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