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Terrell Owens has a new role

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Among Terrell Owens many talents we find that `personal motivation coach' is among them. That's right; Mr. Owens gave Barry Bonds a call after Bonds was stuck at 713 home runs. Bada-bing, Bonds hits number 714.  

And whether it was a made-for-reality show anecdote or not, the San Francisco Giants slugger maintained it was none other than T.O., everyone's favorite controversial wide receiver, who provided the magic words that lifted him out of his funk following a Friday phone call.

"He (Owens) kind of kicked me in the butt, because he said if I ever wanted my No.1 Bad Boy ranking back, I've got to start hitting home runs," Bonds said. "So I was like, 'I want it back.' So he kind of helped me."

What happened here? Did Owens pick up the Bad Boy hotline and dial up Bonds? Who else has the number for the Bad Boy hotline? Do they hold regular meetings?

These are the things that I think about in the offseason.

Speaking of useless news items about the Cowboys, what is this all about?

MADD's educational videos are shown at school assemblies across the state, throughout the school year. MADD's latest production is called ''The Spot," a 38-minute show that covers issues such as drinking, drugs, and driving, and includes music by bubble-gum punk band Simple Plan and interviews with Dallas Cowboys cornerback Larry Brown and NASCAR driver Reed Sorenson.

Weird. In the middle of a long article about drunk-driving and prom night, ex-Cowboys CB Larry Brown's name shows up. Why is Larry Brown giving an interview? Surely they could've found a more famous athlete to do the video. Does Larry Brown have a DUI on his record or something?

Like I said, it's the offseason, don't hold me accountable for my ramblings.