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Todd Archer and the gang at Valley Ranch got punked by the Tuna.

So eight intrepid members of the media, including Calvin Watkins and myself, were standing out in the cold and rain waiting for Bill Parcells to leave the Cowboys' Valley Ranch facility through the main gate when we got the okey-doke from the coach.

The security staff allowed Parcells to go out a side entrance near the players' parking lot that is almost always closed. It led to some giggles from the security folks as Parcells went the other way.

So we move on the Day 14 of the Parcells' watch with no resolution of the coach's future, but we know the 65-year-old coach still has some moves that would make Julius Jones proud.

This is getting surreal. What do you think is really going on at Valley Ranch these days? What is Parcells doing all day in his office? Maybe watching game film, or going over depth charts for every team. Or he's on the phone with his agent, looking at all the options. Maybe he's weighing the Cowboys chances at the Super Bowl next year. Or, he's watching Brady Bunch reruns and eating some Ben & Jerry's.

Speaking of Jerry, what's his story? Have he and Parcells been working together this whole time, hatching some genius plan while keeping everybody in the dark? Or has Jerry really been sitting in his office, waiting for the Tuna to send him an IM while Googling the career bio of Wade Phillips?

Can someone tap some phones or something? We need information.