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Cowboys defense undergoing changes

In an unprecedented move, the Dallas Cowboys have sold the rights to the official name of their defense. Jerry Jones, who never misses the chance to make a buck, has reached a deal that gives a company exclusive rights to the naming of the Cowboys defense for the next three years. No longer will the Cowboys defense be referred to just as "the defense", or the Phillips 34 defense.

From now on, the Cowboys defense in print and for broadcast rights will be referred to as the Jenny Craig Defense.

Akin Ayodele weighed in the low 250s last year. He's at 240 pounds now and hopes to be around 242 when the regular season begins. Bradie James said he played last year between 260-265 pounds. He is down to 245. Bobby Carpenter said he weighed more than 260 pounds last year, and is closer to 252 now.

Greg Ellis, coming back from Achilles' tendon surgery, played last year at 275, but he is leaner than last year partly to help his rehab. DeMarcus Ware weighed 260 at this time a year ago, but is around 250 now and wants to spend the season between 250-255.

Kirstie Alley, who is being dumped as spokesperson for Jenny Craig, has contacted Jerry Jones in an effort to get a try-out at training camp. She assures Jones that she has the speed to cover TE’s and RB’s and the bulk to take on offensive linemen in the running game.

Noticeably absent from the Jenny Craig Defense is strong safety Roy Williams, otherwise known as Biscuit. He has cut a side-deal with Nabisco, which actually stands for the National Biscuit Company. Roy plans to increase his weight by ingesting a constant diet of Mallomars and Teddy Grahams, thus causing a rift with management.

Still unknown is Jason Ferguson’s take on all this. But Ferguson has been a strong supporter of the Tank Johnson prison diet. In other news, Ken Hamlin has cut his own deal with The HoneyBaked Ham Company.

This one is for everybody worried about Tony Romo spending too much time with Carrie Underwood. Romo has put his foot down and told his paramour that he needs a time-out during football season.

"Carrie thought that they were moving closer to a more committed relationship," a source tells the tab. Romo asked Underwood to give him space for his career once before, and she did, but this time, the request has hit a sour note with her, says the source, who adds, "Carrie wants a firm commitment from Tony."

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