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Halloween Edition: Top five scary Cowboy moments

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One of my favorite things to watch is Bravo's TV mini-series "100 Scariest Movie Moments." I tend to look at it as a top hundred list for the horror, gore and slasher genres. If you like that kind of stuff, it's awesome. A lot of blood, guts, screaming virgins and slimy monsters. Great stuff!

So in the spirit of Halloween, I'm going to lay out a list of the top five scariest moments as a Cowboys fan to coincide with the top five scariest movies of all-time in my opinion. I'm going to limit the Cowboy moments to the last few years for the sake of time. You don't want to get me started on our 1-15 season, our NFC Championship loss to the 49ers or our Super Bowl losses to the Steelers.

#5 - "Audition" = Anytime Santana Moss is playing against us or Roy Williams is in coverage

"Audition" is a movie that's about as sick and demented as you'll ever want to see. Put it this way -- it freaked Rob Zombie out. It's a Japanese film about role reversals in my opinion. Kinda like "Fatal Attraction." The moral of the story is -- be careful what you wish for. Or who you wish for. Cause she might be sexy or she might be docile and submissive. Or she might fry your rabbits and try to kill your wife. Or she might cut off your tongue, your foot, imprison you in a bag and then make you eat her vomit. Seriously.

I compare this film to Roy Williams and his recent coverage woes. Be careful what you wish for. There was no bigger Roy fan than me. I loved the way he'd punish receivers with big hits. I loved his big-play ability. You want Roy to get a huge contract? Darn right! Be careful what you wish for. Now I'm scared everytime I see a QB drop back and go deep.

I also compare this film to seeing #89 line up against any of our cornerbacks. He's proved time and time again that we can not cover him. I've seen his dance so many times I can perform it. Do you remember this game? Two minutes left to go, after he'd already scored, so close to victory, Brunell winds up and let's it fly ... One of the most heartbreaking moments of my life.    

#4 - "Poltergeist" = The Eagles at Texas Stadium

You wanna scare me? Here's the checklist. Scary little child? Check. Scary killer clown? Check. Weird possessed meat products? Check. Television set that's actually a portal to another hellish dimension? Check. This movie had it all.

I think the scariest thing about this movie is how something as ordinary as a TV could actually do you harm. Can you imagine? Think about your flat screen. Think about how close you get to it when your screaming for the 'Boys. What if it just reached out and snatched you?

You wanna put me on edge for a home game? Here's the checklist. Donovan McNabb? Check. Brian Dawkins? Check. Brian Westbrook? Check. For whatever reason, we have played awful against the Eagles recently at home. Whether it was this laugher, this Jeff Garcia classic or this beauty from last year, we just seem to struggle against the Iggles at the most inopportune times.

#3 - "Aliens" = Losing to the Patriots 48-24

You can't imagine how scary it is to be a 10-year-old kid and see some slimy monster with an extra set of teeth impregnate someone with a pink spider and then have his baby burst through someone's rib cage. That, my friends, is a bed-wetting moment. There are so many fears being played on here: fear of the unknown, fear of insects, fear of foreign objects inside your body. And "Aliens" had all of them.

Do you know what the Patriots loss told me? That we weren't ready. That our secondary wasn't ready. That our front seven wasn't dominate enough. That our offense was good but not great enough. That we weren't quite ready to play with the big boys. And that was frightening.  

#2 - "The Thing" = Romo injured

I'm a big fan of John Carpenter. I think he's a genius. I can recite "Big Trouble in Little China" by rote. Line for line.

Carpenter's "The Thing" is a different animal though. The monster in that movie is just about the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. It's a shape-shifter that can morph into anything. Anything it touches, it can replicate and utterly destroy. Imagine being a seven or eight-year-old boy and watching someone's head detach from their body, grow legs and then crawl away. Yeah. Creepy.

The second scariest thing I've ever seen in my life was during overtime in the Arizona game. No that's not right. I didn't know then. It was the following day when I woke up and saw "Romo out for month with injured pinkie" crawing on the newstracker on ESPN. How scary is that? And you've seen how lost we've been without him.  

#1 - "The Exorcist" = "Playoff loss to the Giants"

Scariest movie I've ever seen in my life. There is no comparison. None. Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger and Pinhead have nothing on this little Devil-possessed girl. She says vile things and does vile things. Usually horror movies are one of three things: eerie (like "The Ring"), gory (like "Hostel") or filled with "gotcha" fright-filled surprises (like "Scream.") This movie had all three.

Halfway through the third quarter of our playoff loss, in what should have been a coronation to our sixth Super Bowl title, I started to sweat. I started wringing my hands. My throat started to feel dry. That's because I came to the realization that as good as we had played, we could still lose. A totally perfect season in almost every way could go down the drain with a few simple plays. I hadn't felt like that all year. And we were losing. And those few simple plays happened. And the next thing you know we're sitting on the 24-yard-line on 4th down with our season on the line and time running out. You know the rest. Interception. Giants erupt on their sideline. We go home.

The thought of that feeling happening again scares me to death.

I hope the 'Boys feel the same way and do something about it Sunday.