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The Dallas Cowboys are Every Free Agent's Fantasy Island

Ray Lewis couldn't stop gushing about Dallas last week, an obvious show of his desire to up his contract offer from Baltimore admiration for Jerry Jones and the Cowboys organization.

Now, Julius Peppers apparently sees himself getting off the plane, shaking Herve Villechaise's hand, and accepting a bungalow laden with cash from Mr. Roarke Jones:

The Carolina Panthers haven't yet placed the franchise tag on defensive end Julius Peppers -- or signed Jordan Gross.

And while both are still expected in the next 24 hours, the Peppers half of the equation is becoming complicated.

According to sources with knowledge of his intent, Peppers has a list of just four teams to which he's willing to accept a trade. Only one is in the AFC, and another is Dallas, which lacks a first-round pick the Panthers would be seeking in any deal. The other two are believed to be NFC South opponents, to which the Panthers would be hesitant to move their disgruntled star.

 

I know Jerry has lots of other things to do, what with the new stadium opening soon and the roster evaluations to complete, so I'm offering my services.  I've got a Hispanic surname, and can dash down to my local gym and put in some quick tanning sessions.  The great Ricardo Montalban left us just days ago, but I've got an old J. Peterman linen suit (right, one of those) sitting deep in my closet, and I'd be happy to don it, work on my fake Montalban accent, and act as the official Cowboys greeter to Fantasy Island. 

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via upload.wikimedia.org


Oh wait!  Villechaise is dead too.  Who to play Tattoo?  Maybe Adam Jones?  He's got lots of ink, needs work and would do anything to get near the Cowboys again:

Me:  "Welcome to Fantasy Island, Meeester Peppers.  You're limousine has been adorned with fine Corrrrrinthean leather..."

Yeah, it's nuts.  Just as nutty as Julius Peppers joining the Dallas Cowboys. 

On the other hand, what does it say when every free agent is using you as his fantasy destination?  Have at it.