I could do with some sunshine pumping right about now. I've been trying hard to come up with something positive to say, but I haven't found anything that would not be bitterly sarcastic. Anybody have an idea they'd like to throw in the ring? Cause I ain't got nothing.
These power rankings were supposed to be a fun diversion during the week, now they're nothing more than a tedious exercise.
Anyway, everybody gather up their laptops and mobile devices, we're heading over to Baskin-Robbins for some clown face cake. I'm buying.
[Note: 20 of 20 power rankings are now in]
1. Major Media Networks & Affiliates
SportingNews.com: 17th (-3). "If a team is consistently plagued by penalties and turnovers, it's mediocre—no matter what's on its helmet."
National Football Post: 18th (+3). "Time to push the panic button in Dallas."
USAToday.com: 21st (-1).
NFL.com's Brain Trust of Experts: 24th (-4).
Pete Prisco at CBSSports.com: 25th (-3). "This is quickly getting out of control. Talent means nothing if it keeps making so many mistakes. The Wade Watch is on."
Fox Sports: 26th (-4). "You must be kidding me. How in the world is this team 1-4? I realize that firing head coach Wade Phillips won't solve any of their problems, but how much longer can owner Jerry Jones tolerate such a bad start to the season? It won't get any easier against the division rival Giants this Monday night."
ESPN: 26th (-7). "So much for hosting the Super Bowl. The Cowboys are running out of time to turn around their season. (Clayton)"
SI.com: xxrd (23). "I did call the Cowboys' season "an unmitigated disaster" the other day, but of course in this year's NFC, it's impossible to play your way out of playoff contention. Still, chew on this nugget that I dug up: In the first 50 seasons of their existence (1960-2009), the Cowboys have never made the playoffs after being three games under .500 at any point in a season. And just in case someone wants to quibble about 1965, the 2-5 Cowboys made the NFL's now-defunct Playoff Bowl that year, but that was a meaningless third-place game where the winner didn't advance and thus wasn't really a playoff game at all."
2. Blogs & Other Media
Weii.com: 20th (n.c.). "Since 1990, only five teams have made the playoffs after starting the season 1-4. Unless the Cowboys make a remarkable recovery, they won’t be the sixth team. The Wade Phillips-led Cowboys committed another 11 penalties on Sunday, making them the third most-penalized team in the league."
ColdHardFootballFacts.com: 21st (-2). "The Cowboys have one win, which is one more than you have."
ProFootballWeekly: 23rd (-3). "Miles Austin had his worst game since winning starting job."
Mike Florio at ProFootballTalk.com: 24th (-4). "With all the great teams at the top of the AFC, maybe Cowboys owner Jerry Jones doesn't really want to play in the Super Bowl he'll host."
SB Nation.com: 25th (-2). "It's pretty close to it being over for the . The ray of shining light is that they play the division leading Giants twice in the next month."
Fanhouse.com: 28th (-1). "Things just keep getting worse for the Cowboys, who dropped their fourth game of the season, all by seven points or less. Poor discipline by the players has led to a plethora of penalties called against the team, and it's safe to say that Wade Phillips is on the hot seat as a result."
3. Statistics, Computer & Vegas rankings
AdvancedNFLstats: 7th (-2). Offense ranked No. 3 (-1), Defense ranked No. 14 (+2). This ranking model includes offensive and defensive passing and running efficiency, offensive turnover rates, defensive interception rates, and team penalty rates.
WhatIFsports: 7th (n.c.). These guys simulate every possible match-up in the NFL 100 times, and use the winning percentages from those nearly 50,000 games to evaluate every team, with updated rosters and depth charts.
FootballOutsiders.com: 17th (-2). Offense ranked No. 9 (-2), Defense No. 24 (+2), Special Teams No. 29 (-9).
Jeff Sagarin's NFL rankings: 18th (-5). These are rankings based on W/L record, points differential and schedule strength.
Betus.com: 20th (n.c.). "Penalties and mistakes are KILLING this team"
Covers.com: 20th (-2). "Dallas outgained its opponent for the fifth straight time this season but dropped to 1-4 as mistakes continue to kill them. They now face a must win game Monday against the Giants."
Here's how the NFC East and fared: