November 4, 1962.
The Dawning Day of the Age of Enlightenment. Proof that Good Things Happen. Evidence that evil will not ultimately prevail. Cowboys 38, Redskins 10. It was the first of 59 and counting. The Devil has been on the run ever since that first blessed day.
Beating the Redskins. Better than my smoked babybacks. Better than Motown. Better than slaying specs in the Port Arkansas surf. Better, even, than beer.
Beating the Redskins. Cue the choir of archangels.
I want to live another 80 years, just to have an opportunity to beat the Redskins 160 more times. How do I despise them? Thoroughly. And continuously.
First, the obligatory kissing up. Wedding day with Chainsaw, birth of daughter, Whitney, and birth of granddaughter, Scout, outrank beating the Redskins. There, my backside is covered.
But can I point out that Whitney was born two nights after we all sang Happy Birthday to Joe Theismann at the top of our lungs in the waning moments of a 44-14 Monday night pasting of the 'Skins at Texas Stadium? It was a really, really good week.
Meredith gets 'em 31-30 in '66. Dallas shuts out the 'Skins 34-0 in December of 1970 in the Cowboys' stretch drive toward their first Super Bowl. Longley to Pearson on Thanksgiving 1974. Staubach to Hill in '79. And 54 other special occasions.
Don't give me this stuff about this Sunday being "meaningless." It's a chance to beat the Redskins.
Plus, it's a chance to reverse the bad karma that started this most disappointing of seasons. This Sunday, Tashard Choice scores right before halftime. This Sunday, Roy Williams catches a big touchdown pass, and Alex Barron isn't around to kill the buzz. All those negative vibes get erased as we vector forward toward 2011.
NFL Films captured non-combatant Redskin backup quarterback Sam Wyche screaming "Die, you yellow dogs, die," toward the Cowboy bench near the end of Washington's 26-3 win over Dallas in the '72 NFC Championship Game. A special salute to you, Empty Barrel Sam, this Sunday as the Cowboys celebrate their 60th win over the Redskins by hanging 60 on their evil, worthless, sinister, subversive, nasty, dark-souled, punk butts.
Don't tell me Sunday is meaningless. It's an opportunity to beat the Redskins.