Five bold predictions for the Cowboys game versus the Giants

Sunday’s Cowboys game in New York has a whole lot of weird elements going into it.

First of all, this game, which again features the COWBOYS AND GIANTS, was flexed... backwards... to the early slot.

It’s a tradition unlike any other for the NFL to force-feed us Dallas and New York on Sunday Night Football in Week 1 every season. The annual meetings between the two are among the league’s most valuable games.

Amazingly (really not amazing just how broken the Giants are) the NFL prioritized a different game over this one... one that features Blake Bortles. Enjoy the Jaguars and Seahawks, world.

The next weird thing here is that there’s an interim head coach making their debut when the Cowboys visit the Giants. Jason Garrett did this seven years ago. It’s a weird, very strange, coincidence.

As if things weren’t weird enough, the Cowboys are literally wearing a uniform combination for the first time in franchise history. What is happening here?!

Oh, and then there’s that whole Eli thing.

It’s going to be a weird day. Let’s keep that in mind when we conjure up five bold predictions for it. Let’s get weird.

Dez Bryant will hit the hat trick on touchdowns

The one that throws up the X has only ever scored thrice in a game once - December 14th, 2014 in Philadelphia.

Dez has only scored three times this season since October so this is a weird (word of the day) thing to anticipate, but he and Dak Prescott need to get familiar with each other if this team wants to do any damage down the stretch.

Maybe Dez Bryant is only supposed to score three touchdowns once every three years in the home of the three division rivals. Philadelphia then, New York now, Washington in 2020. Makes sense.

Eli Manning is going to do something heroic

One of the weirder elements to this game is that it’s a “fresh start” for Eli Manning who saw his 210 consecutive ones come to an inexplicable end last week. The streak starts at one now, baby.

Eli Manning is a lot of things, people. He’s awkward, clunky, and someone who for no reason other than that he’s weird finds a way to make some amazing plays in the game of football.

There is going to be a point, we all know this, where Eli Manning is going to do something incredible. Let’s just hope it’s one we can laugh about.

Dak Prescott will hit the double century mark in yards

It’s been a long time since Dak Prescott threw for over 200 yards in a game. I’m pretty sure computers didn’t even exist when he last did, actually.

It was Ezekiel Elliott’s last game when Dak last hit 200, November 5th against Kansas City. It’s been over a month of under-200 life since then, with only one win to show for it.

Prescott actually started this season off with 268 yards passing, coincidentally against the New York Giants. That was a G-Men team with a whole lot less quit in their hearts and a heap of more talent on the field.

WE’RE GOING FOR 200, LET’S RIDE!

Anthony Brown is going to continue his streak of intercepting Eli Manning

When the Cowboys visited the Giants last season, Anthony Brown began a streak.

He intercepted Eli that frigid night and made that play a tradition in Week 1 of this season when he did it again. Traditions need to be upheld, people.

It’s worth noting that Anthony Brown had an interception last week as well. There are all sorts of traditions going on! It’s weird again!

In the world of objective math and science, there are literally solid odds that Brown will pick off Eli Manning. Do a Dez Bryant in this game and hit the three, AB!

Dallas will play another turnover-free game

It’s been a long time since the Cowboys put together consecutive turnover-free games. Anybody have a guess? I can only stall for so long as you read this and think at the same time before we both have to continue on, time’s up.

Dallas kept the football to themselves for two straight games last season when they hosted the Baltimore Ravens and Washington Redskins in the annual Sunday-to-Thanksgiving stretch. It’s been a while.

Part of what helped the Cowboys in this regard last week was that they ran the ball so effectively. They fed Alfred Morris, and it worked. Let’s do that again, please.

New York is down just about everyone who has legitimate significance all across their team. They’re emotionally charged, but as long as we’re smarter than them we should be good in this department.

Be smart, Cowboys. Please.