What a week it's been for me. I sent a draft of my next novel to my editor, worked my booth at KC Planet Comicon, and there might have been this draft thing.
Thank goodness I have a plan with unlimited data.
I am, like most of us, generally pleased with the draft. I'm happily rewarding our newest members with a nice, chilled hops-filled beverage. We're bringing some major talent to DFW and it seems appropriate to give them all beers from the many microbrews in the Metroplex. Since they're all from the area, I won't note the city and state like I normally do
Did you know that there are beers inspired by tacos? No clue how they taste, and I'm not going to go the cheap and easy route of just giving Taco Charlton one of these. Like many of us, I was not "wowed" by the pick. My pet cat was Jordan Willis, and I wanted TJ Watt too. However, I understand this front office and Taco fits their design much better than either of the others. Also, let's not get too caught up with the 40-yard dash. Taco was an A-Quadrant player, and we need all of those we can get. He gets a Deep Ellum Dream Crusher Double Rye IPA both for the pet cats we had that weren't taken and for all the dreams of Eagle, Giant, and Redskin fans he is totally going to crush.
Oh Awuzie, my Awuzie. I've not been shy about my love of Chidobe. Another A-Quadrant player. People point to the fact that he only has 3 INTs, however, let's not forget he's one of the all-time leaders in the Pac-12 in forced fumbles and passes defended. Oh, and he's got tons of tackles and had 4 sacks in both his junior and senior yet. He'll give us those splash plays, don't fear. Let's just say I give that pick a Community Beer Triple Yessir American Imperial Stout.
If the Cowboys are right and the DV charge is not an actual problem, then we got a steal. Jourdan Lewis is the perfect CB to deal with shifty slot receivers, like OBJ. He gets a Rahr & Sons The Regulator Doppelbock. He'll regulate the heck out of the slot.
I have to admit that Ryan Switzer wasn't even on my radar, which is a mistake on my part because I didn't see his punt return ability. I knew the Boys would be looking for a better returner, and I think he's also a much better version of Lucky. Joey Ickes has been pushing the possibilities of the 10 formation with Elliott at RB and Dez, Terrence, Beasley, and Switzer. That sounds delicious, and so does a Four Corners Brewing Caliente Fiesta Porter.
Xavier Woods at 191? Whaaa....? That can't be right, can it? He gets a Collective Brewing Fantastikolsch Kolsch because expecting him there would have been a fantasy. Well, life is just a fantasy and, yes, Aldo Nova, I can live this fantasy life. Tons of production, solid measurables. We're going to love this kid.
I hoped that we would double-dip at both CB and safety in this draft, and given the flexibility of both Chidobe and Lewis, getting a third CB is good enough. I love that we have so many possible options in the defensive backfield, and White is just the kind of prospect that might surprise us. Nolan Carroll better not get too comfortable. He's a long shot, but I give him a Wild Acre Brewing Soul Pleasure Southern Stout, because if it does happen, it will give my soul a lot of pleasure to see a former Eagle on the street. Hello schadenfreude my old friend...
Anyway, on to Joey Ivie. Yeah, he's limited, but if Rod Marinelli is any judge, then we might have gotten a sleeper. Go watch his reaction when we drafted Ivie and you'll know why I'm giving him a Panther Island Boom American Blonde Ale. Boom!
Noah Brown isn't the fastest WR out there, but the dude is tough. He's one heck of a blocker downfield and I'm going to say he's OK with the occasional contested catch, even if that opinion is based on just one catch. The FPW talked about how he's insurance and a future replacement for the likes of Brice Butler. It may not be a huge thing right now, but I love how the Cowboys are thinking so far ahead now. He gets a Humperdink's Highland 90 Scotch Ale for all the jump balls I hope Dak gets to throw to him.
Jordan Carroll is more depth at DT. I think Rod is hoping he'll be a HopFusion Ale Works Even Trade American IPA for Jack Crawford, who was a useful player that Rod could put anywhere. That versatility is valuable from backups.
That's our draft choices. That leaves me three more beers to assign.
Rod deserves a beer. After all, he's going to be working hard with all this new talent. He gets a Martin House Brewing Hell on Earth American Black Ale. At his signal, unleash hell!
Stephen Jones has kept this ship on such an even keel. Kept it perfect for a Chimera Brewing Roman Empire American Pale Ale.
Finally, one last beer to assign. It goes to Will McClay. He gets this one because when we win another SB, and I'm sure we will in the next few years, it'll be because of him. He gets a Braindead Brewing Fill in the Blancs American Strong Ale for, well, filling in the blanks.
When the NFL finally gives Jerry his wish and Dallas hosts the draft, I'll make the drive down and join all the BtBers for one hell of a time trying all of these breweries.