Alternate universe football: CeeDee Lamb scores twice, Cowboys rout Steelers 41-3 in Hall of Fame game

It’s been a long time waiting, but fans finally got to see their Dallas Cowboys in action with a convincing 41-3 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Hall of Fame game. Granted, the game was only televised in certain geographical areas of our imagination, and alternate universes where it wasn’t blacked out, but for those who had access, boy, was it a doozy.

The game started off slow as new head coach Mike McCarthy got confused and went to the visiting sideline. For the first ten minutes of the game, he was coaching the Steelers. That’s an innocent mistake, and we should cut him some slack. After all, the last time he was at AT&T Stadium coaching against the Steelers, he was holding up the Lombardi trophy.

With no starters playing, we got a great chance to see some of the younger guys in action. Ezekiel Elliott didn’t dress, so the Cowboys went to their dynamic second-year running back Tony Pollard. He had several nifty runs and finished the game with six carries for 90 yards for a respectable 15.0 yards per carry. Pollard put Dallas on the board first on a draw play where he ran down the middle of the Steelers defense for a 21-yard touchdown.

But the real star of the day was the team’s first-round gem, CeeDee Lamb. Known for making big plays in college, the young receiver picked right up where he left off by catching not one, but two touchdown passes in his NFL debut.

The Cowboys took a 28-0 lead into halftime where fans at AT&T Stadium were treated with a surprise as Jerry Jones inducted Jimmy Johnson into the Cowboys Ring of Honor. It was an emotional time as Jerry spoke from the heart and rambled on for roughly 45 minutes on how he was wrong in waiting this long to put Jimmy’s name in there. Jimmy accepted his apology, they hugged each other’s neck, and all was well again.

In the second half, it was mostly a defensive game. Rookie quarterback Ben DiNucci got most of the reps, and he played fine. There were some impressive throws, and then others he wished he could have back. He struggled on third down, causing a couple drives to stall. But the Cowboys still came away with points as Greg Zuerlein went 2-for-2 in fields, one from 47 yards and the other from 52. It was a good showing for the Cowboys new kicker.

Late in the game, the Cowboys defense got in on the action with some scoring of their own. After the Steelers backup quarterback mishandled the snap, Joe “Hollywood” Jackson and Aldon Smith sandwiched him, allowing Smith to rip the ball out of his hands and rumble down the sideline for the touchdown.

Okay, so maybe none of that really happened, but in a time where we don’t have any football to cheer for, we might as well imagine what could be.

What was your favorite part of this hypothetical game?