It’s an exciting time of the year. The Dallas Cowboys are playing extremely well right now, currently riding a five-game win streak. If that wasn’t enough, it’s also nearly Halloween, one of the favorite holidays.
Halloween and the Cowboys kind of go hand-in-hand this year. While they are still in their bye week, the next time they suit up will be on October 31 against the Minnesota Vikings, also known as Halloween.
With that in mind, we decided to rank the Top 10 horror villains and pair them with their Cowboys counterparts. It’s all in fun, but please feel free to share anything you would’ve done differently.
10. Tony Pollard: Chucky - Child’s Play
Just by looking at him, there’s nothing physically imposing or scary about Chucky. He’s a child’s play toy, a Good Guys doll. It took a serial killer transferring his soul into the Cabbage Patch Kid wannabe to turn it into one of the most feared horror villains. His victims underestimate his doll-like cuteness and end up playing the ultimate price because of it.
Being underestimated because he may not be the most physically imposing player at his position with the Cowboys makes Tony Pollard the perfect Chucky candidate. Like the redheaded doll, Pollard shows no mercy or conscience when slicing and dicing his victims. No. 20 may not be a serial killer, but he still strikes fear in those he has to face.
9. Micah Parsons: Pennywise - IT
Pennywise is arguably the most versatile and unique horror villain to ever grace the big screen. He can lull his victims into a false sense of security like Chucky or haunt their nightmares like Freddy Krueger. He can shape shift, manipulate reality, and go unnoticed by adults. Stephen King’s character gave a lot of people clown phobias.
“Unique” and “versatile” are two words that perfectly describe Cowboys rookie linebacker Micah Parsons. He’s equally scary shape-shifting from linebacker to defensive end, which makes him the perfect Pennywise candidate. His ability to pray on his victims in so many different ways will continue to strike fear in his opponents for years to come.
8. Trevon Diggs: Jigsaw - Saw
Jigsaw wasn’t your typical serial-killing, cut-and-slash type of horror villain. One could even argue he wasn’t really a serial killer considering he devised torturous traps and tasks for his would-be victims to complete to save their lives. But, it was that lack of unknown as to who the actual killer was that made him such a unique and refreshing villain.
Now, Trevon Diggs isn’t hiding in the dark coming up with unique ways to victimize his opponents, but he does seem to be right at home devising traps opposing quarterbacks keep falling right into. His victim count keeps rising this year, as does his interception total. There may be no stopping this devious mastermind anytime soon.
7. Amari Cooper & CeeDee Lamb: Ghostface - Scream
What’s your favorite scary movie?
The Ghostface character in Scream is unique in a way that you really don’t know who’s behind the mask until you reach the climax in the movies. It’s usually a duo, or tandem, working together to wreak havoc and create fear for their unsuspecting victims. The mask in its self is a bit comical, but the bodies this horror villain piles up isn’t.
You’re probably not going to find a better Cowboys duo than Amari Cooper and CeeDee Lamb. These two are like two peas in a pod. They feed off one another’s energy and push each other to the max to try to better themselves. They work in perfect unison and don’t mind playing second fiddle every now and then if it helps them reach their goal. That makes them perfect fit for Ghostface.
6. Randy Gregory: Pinhead - Hellraiser
Pinhead is a horror villain who was sent from the depths of hell to drag you down back with him and torture your soul for eternity. He shows absolutely no remorse when looking his victims in the eye promising to “tear your soul apart”. Surprisingly, this slice-and-dice movie made nine sequels, and yet, still remains an underrated villain.
Like Pinhead, No. 94 has no problem showing zero remorse by torturing the souls of opposing offensive tackles. After that, he does what DeMarcus Lawrence once said about quarterbacks, and that is to take their soul. Gregory is making a living at snatching souls.
5. Ezekiel Elliott: Hannibal Lector - Silence of the Lambs
Sir Anthony Hopkins’ portrayal of Hannibal Lecter was played to perfection. The cannibalistic serial killer was truly fearsome due to his ability to pretty much adapt into any environment because of his superior intellect and charisma. He would cook and devour his victims and for whatever reason he was too intriguing of a character not to watch.
Like Dr. Lector, Ezekiel Elliott is a charismatic player you can’t help but watch and like any time he’s on the field. He doesn’t get enough credit for his knowledge of the game, but any one of his teammates will attest to his intellect. Zeke isn’t a cannibal as far as we know, but his patented “feed me” sign does give him an indirect link in a ways to Hannibal Lecter.
4. Zack Martin: Leatherface - Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If a big, chainsaw-wielding serial killer wasn’t scary enough, the fact that Leatherface was based on true events (Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein) makes it even more unsettling. Coming from a cannibalistic family from the middle of nowhere Texas, the human-flesh-mask-wearing horror villain terrorizes his victims with his sheer size, strength, and surprising athletic ability.
Put a chainsaw in Zack Martin’s hands and a mask made of human flesh on his face, and the Cowboys All-Pro offensive guard is a perfect fit to play Leatherface. He has the size, strength, and athletic ability to easily play the part and his brother Nick, a center for the Las Vegas Raiders, could help him make it a family affair.
3. Tyron Smith: Jason Vorhees - Friday the 13th
Can’t keep a big man down. Jason is a cut-and-slash horror villain who terrorizes summer campers at Camp Crystal Lake. He wears his iconic hockey mask and his weapon of choice is a razor-sharp machete. His only weaknesses his irrational fear of water, but despite that he is a relentless serial killer who is virtually impossible to defeat.
The soft-spoken big man, Tyron Smith, is much like the machete-welding serial killer. He is virtually impossible to defeat in the running or passing game, which makes him arguably one of the best left tackle’s in the league. Like Jason though, he does have one weakness, a reoccurring neck issue that has caused him to miss sometime over the years.
2. Kellen Moore: Freddy Krueger - Nightmare on Elm Street
One, two, Freddy’s coming for you…
Freddy Krueger is one of the most feared horror villains of our time not because of his leather gloves with razor-sharp knife fingers, but rather due to the fact he haunts you where you’re at your most vulnerable, in your dreams. To die in your dreams is to die in real life. There’s no hiding from him because everybody has to sleep sometime.
In a short amount of time the Cowboys offensive coordinator Kellen Moore has turned himself into one of the best play-callers in the NFL. The amount of weapons he has at his disposal and his creative way of using them is a thing of nightmares for defensive coordinators. Whether they are asleep or awake, they can’t hide from K-Moore.
1. Dak Prescott: Michael Myers - Halloween
It should come as no surprise Michael Myers tops the list of horror villains. You can shoot him, stab him, or burn him alive, but there is no way of stopping this serial killer. He is dead set on killing those who have the same blood pumping to their veins and shows absolutely no remorse to anyone who gets in his way. Even now pushing 80 years old (born in 1957) he’s unstoppable.
There’s not a single Cowboys player who would better portray Michael Myers than Dak Prescott. Like the Halloween serial killer, Prescott also has strong family ties, although he’s not out to kill them. No. 4 is also someone has been virtually unstoppable since taking over as a starting QB in Dallas. Not even a career-threatening broken ankle could keep him from bouncing back and striking fear into his opponents.