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Trolling the Nation for Cowboys vs. Bengals: ‘Cooper Rush, Gunslinger’

Read what other fans across the NFL had to say as they watched the Cowboys rip out Cincinnati’s soul.

Cincinnati Bengals v Dallas Cowboys Photo by Richard Rodriguez/Getty Images

Victory Monday! The Dallas Cowboys got in the win column on Sunday without Dak Prescott, and a new optimism has spread. What was once being discussed as a possible lost season has been resurrected for the moment. And how better to celebrate than by reliving the agony, and even utter despair, of Bengals fans watching their team crumble, with the occasional snide remark from other NFL fans thrown in for good measure.

So here’s your chance to relive Sunday’s game via the comments made by NFL fans around the league while watching the game.

Disclaimer: All quotes are taken directly from the open game threads from the SB Nation team sites as indicated in front of every comment. Some minor edits have been made to improve the overall legibility of the quotes and to satisfy our site guidelines, but no other changes have been made, no commentary added.

First Quarter
Eagles Can someone remind me about what Dallas sees in Cooper Rush again?
DarkSide830 | 16:14 EDT
I think he beat Minnesota in 21 so he is a legend according to Jerrah.
diggityofficial | 16:17 EDT
Bengals First drive tells a lot in terms of momentum
KinFain | 16:27 EDT
Bengals Run Defense needs to be great today
ShooterMcBengalfan | 16:27 EDT
Bengals Not looking good. They CANNOT let them gain momentum at ALL
KinFain | 16:27 EDT
Bengals Let's hope we don't have the curse of the back up QB show up today!!
PB's Ghost | 16:28 EDT
(12:29) - 4th & 2 -C.Rush pass to N.Brown to CIN 39 for 17 yards
Bengals Lousy lousy lousy
ShooterMcBengalfan | 16:29 EDT
Bengals I'd rather be playing Dak tbh.
TCfromDubVee | 16:31 EDT
Bengals Here comes the backup QB shredding us like usual.
Shaller_513 | 16:31 EDT
Bengals Is Romo really gonna spend all day talking up Cooper Rush
Bengals Of course we have Romo calling this game..
Shaller_513 | 16:32 EDT
Eagles Yeah Romo got the Homer going strong early. Called Rush a Gunslinger but forgot to name which Universe
BoobiesUncleChuck | 16:32 EDT
Bengals Who else is not surprised by this start? at least everyone else in the the division choked. Back up qbs hate cincy
Lordcletus1. | 16:33 EDT
(8:35) C.Rush pass to N.Brown for 9 yards, TOUCHDOWN
DAL 7 - CIN 0
Bengals Easy TD from a back up
freetoe | 16:34 EDT
Bengals Cupcake TD
LacesOut16 | 16:34 EDT
Bengals We are not winning this game.
DrDru | 16:35 EDT
Bengals If they go 0-2 coming out of a Superbowl appearance….Zac better stay his ass in Texas!!
Cinci_Ant | 16:35 EDT
Bengals Wow that was quick. Cowboys OL dominated
YoYoYoIDK | 16:35 EDT
Eagles Well, Cooper Rush looked really good on that drive …
nononono | 16:35 EDT
Bengals No respect. 4 and 2! 17 yard gain
KinFain | 16:37 EDT
Bengals Cooper Montana
LacesOut16 | 16:38 EDT
Bengals Romo should only do non Cowboys games
Everydayisgameday | 16:44 EDT
(4:35) J.Burrow sacked at DAL 31 for -3 yards (M.Parsons)
Bengals My kingdom for an O-Line
carolinabengal | 16:47 EDT
Bengals 3rd down.. 2 yard out..
Shaller_513 | 16:48 EDT
On 3rd and 14.
Tenacious_E | 16:48 EDT
Marvin Lewis mentality seeping in.
KinFain | 16:49 EDT
(3:05) CIN field goal is GOOD
DAL 7 - CIN 3
Eagles Bengals looking like a fluke. Keep hoping they can shut Romo up. Doesnt seem like it though.
BoobiesUncleChuck | 16:48 EDT
Bengals Bengals sure are proving just how big of a fluke last year was
ShooterMcBengalfan | 16:50 EDT
Bengals Burrow playing like he just woke up from a nap all year so far
Shaller_513 | 16:50 EDT
Bengals Gotta stop giving up 4 and 5 yards a carry
ShooterMcBengalfan | 16:52 EDT
(0:39) C.Rush pass to T.Pollard for 47 yards, TOUCHDOWN. Play was REVERSED. C.Rush pass short left to T.Pollard to CIN 1 for 46 yards.
Bengals on the bright side I started Pollard on my fantasy team
Bengal Growl | 16:55 EDT
Bengals Even if he didn't get in, just give it to him. This team is giving up at least 5 yards a play, I think Dallas can get 0.3333 yards
Burrows Before Hoes | 16:55 EDT
Eagles SB hangover is real
eoos | 16:55 EDT
Bengals Well.. now we can draft a top tackle
TheC | 16:56 EDT
Bengals Burrow gonna be outplayed by Cooper Rush lmao
Temporary Markus Howard Stan | 16:56 EDT
Vikings Look, it's Cooper Rush, Mike Zimmer's kryptonite...
satanicmajesty1967 | 16:57 EDT
Eagles That can't be the same Bengals team that went to the Super Bowl last year. Hangovers seem to be real but not like this.
djpheel | 16:58 EDT
(0:17) T.Pollard up the middle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN
DAL 14 - CIN 3
Bengals Cooper Rush…….sheeesh
VasYouEferInZinzinnati | 16:59 EDT
Cooper Rush? Heck, Cowboys don't even need a QB with the way they are dominating us
ShooterMcBengalfan | 17:00 EDT
Bengals Don't worry, a couple 2 yard runs are incoming
Burrows Before Hoes | 17:00 EDT
Bengals CBS getting their money’s worth on the commercials...commercial break for review, commercial break for TD, gonna have another commercial break for 1Q being over
TrainGang | 17:00 EDT
Bengals Alright Joe, let's put together a drive.
ShufflingSince88 | 17:01 EDT
Bengals Inbound Mixon 2 yard run on 1st down coming.
Shaller_513 | 17:01 EDT
(0:17) J.Burrow sacked at CIN 19 for -6 yards (D.Armstrong)
Bengals Burrow getting eaten alive in the pocket. Trash OL
TrainGang | 17:02 EDT
Bengals Why even play this game just forfeit keep Burrow healthy
Everydayisgameday | 17:03 EDT

Second Quarter
Bengals Don't panic, they said. We'll easily take care of the weak Cowboys, especially with Dak out, they said. Uh-huh.
anthropic | 17:03 EDT
Bengals Don't panic, they tell us. The O line will be fine, they said. Just sad.
anthropic | 17:06 EDT
Bengals Gee I wonder why the Cowboys cut Collins
TrainGang | 17:06 EDT
Bengals How do you not account for Patsons on every snap?
CincyMike21 | 17:06 EDT
Bengals How are they leaving Parsons unblocked
melsj3 | 17:06 EDT
Eagles They just left Parsons unblocked on 3rd down. This is ludicrous.
Revenge of Weapon X | 17:06 EDT
Bengals On the bright side, the snap on the punt was sweet!
Thumper8160 | 17:07 EDT
Bengals Can an O line coach be fired mid game?
Tabais | 17:07 EDT
Bengals We still can't really stop the run even when we know it's coming. That is what is scary.
Shaller_513 | 17:09 EDT
Eagles This Cowboys game is stealing the joy of New Orleans loss.
Texadelphian | 17:09 EDT
Bengals Frank Pollack has to be the most useless position coach in the entire league. i don't think there's anyone else doing less than he has.
Stripes18 | 17:09 EDT
Bengals Cooper Rush looking like Peyton Manning so far
TrainGang | 17:10 EDT
Bengals Don’t the Cowboys have like 1 good WR?
LacesOut16 | 17:10 EDT
Bengals Finally forced a punt
TrainGang | 17:11 EDT
(10:34) DAL punts
Eagles Credit to Cooper Rush. He was totally prepared for this game. Doesn’t look nervous at all. Making good decisions. This is what teams want to see from their backup QB
nononono | 17:12 EDT
Remember what your grade-school teachers used to say. "If you don't have anything negative to say about the Cowboys, then it's best to say nothing at all." I'm pretty sure that's how it went.
TSPC37730 | 17:18 EDT
Bengals Almost 3rd quarter with one stop
KinFain | 17:12 EDT
Chargers Burrow is collecting sacks like it's a hobby.
MongoTesla | 17:14 EDT
Bengals Does Collins remember which team signs his paycheck?
lock1077 | 17:16 EDT
Burrows Before Hoes | 17:17 EDT
Bengals This has to be blocking scheme. No one can let people go unblocked like this
Everydayisgameday | 17:17 EDT
Bengals This is INSANE. Burrow has less than half a second and someone is right in his face. If he's lucky, it's only one person in his face.
Burrows Before Hoes | 17:17 EDT
Bengals Dallas literally knows every play thats being called.
nobody#1.618 | 17:17 EDT
Bengals Parsons unblocked
Sledgie | 17:18 EDT
DeyjaWho | 17:18 EDT
I already have alcohol poisoning
TrainGang | 17:19 EDT
Bengals Cooper Rush goes for it on fourth down from their own 30 and Burrow can't go for it on 4th and 6 inside Dallas territory?
Burrows Before Hoes | 17:23 EDT
Bengals I don’t understand what I am watching…
bengal56 | 17:23 EDT
Bengals Dallas defense penalties are the best thing the Bengals have going so far
hp b | 17:24 EDT
(6:17) CIN punts
Eagles Kellen Moore gets a HC job next year
BoobiesUncleChuck | 17:27 EDT
Bengals Cowboys back up looks like Joe Montana.
WhyAmIaBengalFan | 17:27 EDT
Bengals Dallas defense has more offensive yardage for the Bengals than the Bengals do.
Cargostick | 17:28 EDT
Bengals Who the heck is Noah Brown??
ShooterMcBengalfan | 17:28 EDT
Eagles Cooper Rush making Noah Brown look like a #1 receiver
nononono | 17:31 EDT
(2:19) DAL punts
(1:31) J.Burrow sacked (D.Fowler). FUMBLES (D.Fowler), recovered by CIN
Bengals Its so bad, I want to puke.
gregleak | 17:34 EDT
Bengals What's nfl record for sacks allowed in first 2 games
heckster | 17:39 EDT
Bengals Tampa pulling guys out of the stands to play oline and still winning. It might be coaching.
NashvilleBengal | 17:39 EDT
(1:13) J.Burrow sacked at CIN 19 for -11 yards (D.Armstrong)
Bengals 8 guys protecting a 5 man rush smh
BengalFever | 17:40 EDT
Bengals 11 sacks in a game and a half
Lordcletus1. | 17:40 EDT
Bengals Contenders to pretenders real quick..
ieatwaffleswithsyrup | 17:41 EDT
Bengals Dallas DC: "Wow, this is easy!"
Everydayisgameday | 17:41 EDT
(1:04) CIN punts to DAL 31, K.Turpin to CIN 49 for 20 yards
Giants Honestly, we probably match up better with Dallas on paper than Cincy does, at least defensively. The Bungles looking sloppy shouldn't really worry us at all
Danny Dimes | 17:42 EDT
I thought we would just beat Dallas now I don’t know going to be tougher than I thought
81ta | 17:44 EDT
Bengals This is how a quarterback looks when he has zero faith in his OL. He knows, without a doubt, that he will be pressured immediately.
Cargostick | 17:44 EDT
Bengals I hope Pollack knows someone he can crash with in the Dallas area, because at this rate he needs to be left at JerryWorld
TrainGang | 17:44 EDT
(0:09) B.Maher 54 yard field goal is GOOD
DAL 17 - CIN 3
Bengals So 17-3 at halftime……Score a td first possession of second half and it’s a new ballgame.
Fan4lifebutwhy | 17:46 EDT
Bengals Hopefully the Oline team plane lands during halftime.
LouBungalow | 17:47 EDT
End of half
Eagles Welp this game is over. Guess ill go cut the grass, play call of duty, watch porn, or something.
BoobiesUncleChuck | 17:51 EDT
Might want to reverse the order of your options there
Eagles_Fan_In_San_Fran | 18:04 EDT
The grass will never get cut
BoobiesUncleChuck | 18:12 EDT
Bengals our only highlight is a field goal
BengalFever | 17:53 EDT
Bengals I didn't bet the house, but I laid a big fat bet on the Cowboys with the 7 1/2. I think I'll be taking my wife out to a nice place for dinner tonite.
zachmeister | 17:53 EDT
Bengals Miami's coach looks like the guy in IT that you call when you can't log on.
NashvilleBengal | 17:55 EDT
Bengals I shouldn’t have symptoms of a heart attack every time we drop back to pass.
ItsABeautifulDayInTheNeighborhood | 17:58 EDT

Third Quarter
Bengals It’s painful how obvious and predictable the playcalling is
Tabais | 18:05 EDT
(13:21) J.Burrow sacked at CIN 34 for -7 yards (M.Parsons)
Bengals How many times are they going to let Parsons rush without double team.
Fan4lifebutwhy | 18:06 EDT
Giants Micah Parsons is an absolute beast. I hate it.
Scott Jennings | 18:07 EDT
Bengals One player is wrecking us again, either triple team his ass or just quick kick it
ShooterMcBengalfan | 18:07 EDT
They triple teamed him one play I saw in the first half, and he beat our three
NCSteveT | 18:10 EDT
Bengals Parsons spreading the wealth. He torched Collins one play and Jonah the next.
NashvilleBengal | 18:07 EDT
Bengals Burrow been sacked so much he has PTSD
DeyjaWho | 18:08 EDT
(9:41) CIN field goal is GOOD
DAL 17 - CIN 6
Bengals OK! 4 more FGs and we in the lead!
RoosterJay | 18:11 EDT
Bengals S.O.S.
Topfuel63 | 18:12 EDT
(8:11) DAL punts
Eagles CBS cameras are obsessed with Micah Parsons it’s so annoying
Kwahu | 18:16 EDT
Rather him that Jerry Jones.
RobTheEaglesFan | 18:32 EDT
Bengals I guess we're finding out why it didn't take big money to get Collins
DeyjaWho | 18:16 EDT
Bengals A positive for us is McCarthy is like Marvin and uber conservative in games
Bengalgrrrl | 18:17 EDT
Bengals Dallas D getting tired of running 3 yard sprints to our qb
Everydayisgameday | 18:17 EDT
Bengals Parsons, Parsons Parsons, it is really starting to piss me off
ShooterMcBengalfan | 18:21 EDT
Bengals Parson may be defensive player of the year. He is that good. He is looking like a faster Ray Lewis.
Shaller_513 | 18:23 EDT
(4:54) J.Burrow sacked at DAL 28 for -4 yards (L.Vander Esch)
Bengals Boys due to collapse
VasYouEferInZinzinnati | 18:25 EDT
(4:05) CIN field goal is GOOD
DAL 17 - CIN 9
Eagles Just waiting for Dallas to Dallas....
phillyphanatic10 | 18:29 EDT
Eagles Cincinnati is committing more dumb penalties than Dallas. Which is hard to do
nononono | 18:33 EDT
Bengals Defense Finally
KinFain | 18:33 EDT
(1:13) C.Rush pass to D.Schultz. FUMBLES, RECOVERED by CIN
Eagles That's it! I knew Dallas was gonna Dallas. Waiting for it!
phillyphanatic10 | 18:34 EDT
Bengals Finally someone makes a play
ShooterMcBengalfan | 18:34 EDT
Bengals Touchdown for us please
MikeBrownsGolfCart | 18:36 EDT
Bengals How many lousy cop and fire fighter shows can you have
Everydayisgameday | 18:37 EDT
Network TV requests you hold its beer.
PW | 18:39 EDT
Bengals Run run sack punt
DeyjaWho | 18:39 EDT

Fourth Quarter
Bengals I can't recall a team's off-season plans imploding like this so badly. They got three new OL starters in FA and somehow suck MORE than last year
DeyjaWho | 18:42 EDT
Eagles Well so much for building any momentum off that turnover
nononono | 18:43 EDT
(14:56) CIN punts
(12:50) DAL punts
Bengals OK boys and girls here comes an 8 point TD
Bengal Growl | 18:46 EDT
Bengals They are going with incomplete-incomplete-sack who had that in Bingo?
DeyjaWho | 18:50 EDT
Bengals It's like Dallas had too many on the field all effin day
DeyjaWho | 18:51 EDT
Bengals almost all of the bengals clutch offensive plays this game have been cowboys defensive penalities.
PW | 18:51 EDT
Eagles Don't look now but Cincy is moving the ball on this drive.
Revenge of Weapon X | 18:54 EDT
Bengals Zac is doing the math to figure out if he has enough time for 3 more FGs.
GriddyIron | 18:57 EDT
Bengals On the replay Vander Esch's hit honestly looked clean. Close, but clean
tylertoo | 18:58 EDT
Bengals Why are we running with 5 mins left and down??
Nwa19 | 19:04 EDT
Bengals Acting like a 2pt conversion is automatic
DeyjaWho | 19:04 EDT
Bengals Wasting time I don’t get it
MikeBrownsGolfCart | 19:05 EDT
Bengals I have never in my life seen so many 1st down runs for hardly any gains.
Shaller_513 | 19:05 EDT
(3:45 - 4th) J.Burrow pass short right to T.Higgins for 5 yards, TOUCHDOWN
DAL 17 - CIN 17
Eagles All tied up in Arlington....
Revenge of Weapon X | 19:06 EDT
Bengals Cha ching!
Hoke Hogan | 19:06 EDT
Slycard | 19:06 EDT
Bengals CLUTCH stuff
RoosterJay | 19:06 EDT
RyantheBengalFan#2 | 19:06 EDT
Eagles BOOOM! Ok..Cincy. 3 an out, please!
phillyphanatic10 | 19:07 EDT
Bengals I almost don't know how to feel about this.
Larssin75 | 19:07 EDT
Bengals Please please please don't break our hearts two weeks in a row
DeyjaWho | 19:09 EDT
(2:20) DAL punts
Eagles Now get into FG range Bengals. Break the Cowboys hearts
A Graham Short | 19:16 EDT
Eagles that scoreboard is so dumb, but so Texas.
phillyphanatic10 | 19:16 EDT
Bengals Dallas punter is damn good
Bouncing Bear | 19:16 EDT
He really is
LacesOut16 | 19:16 EDT
Dallas kicker is good too
PW | 19:17 EDT
Bengals These games take years off my life
MikeBrownsGolfCart | 19:18 EDT
Bengals Oh boy bad field position Dallas gets ball back and they win
Everydayisgameday | 19:18 EDT
(1:09) CIN punts
Bengals Game over another guy wrenching loss
ShooterMcBengalfan | 19:19 EDT
Bengals That hurt.
Slycard | 19:19 EDT
Bengals It’s over
MikeBrownsGolfCart | 19:19 EDT
Bengals Always out coached.
executive13 | 19:19 EDT
Bengals Cooper freaking Rush
MikeBrownsGolfCart | 19:19 EDT
Eagles Great tackle by Diggs. And now DAL will have a chance to drive for a game winning score
nononono | 19:22 EDT
Bengals Can't take this week after week
DeyjaWho | 19:22 EDT
Eagles I think DAL will miss the FG.
phillyphanatic10 | 19:24 EDT
Eagles DAL is in FG range. They are going to win unless they do something flat out stupid
nononono | 19:25 EDT
(0:00) B.Maher 50 yard field goal is GOOD
DAL 20 - CIN 17
Bengals I hate my life
MikeBrownsGolfCart | 19:25 EDT
Eagles Boooooooooooo
nononono | 19:26 EDT
Eagles Romo sucks!!
Gingersnaps33 | 19:28 EDT
Eagles I hate Romo and Zac Taylor
Kwahu | 19:30 EDT
Vikings Cooper Rush is the GOAT.
Are we cursed? | 19:37 EDT
Said Mike Zimmer
skolifer | 21:32 EDT

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