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Trolling the Nation for Cowboys at Buccaneers: ‘Someone declare a TKO!’

Read what NFL fans across the league said while they watched the Cowboys knock out the Bucs.


Playoff wins on the road don’t come along that often (as we’ve heard ad nauseam over the last week), so today we celebrate by taking a leisurely stroll through the comments of football fans across the SB Nation network as they were watching the Dallas Cowboys clobber the Tampa Bay Doormats 31-14.

There are more comments than usual in today’s post, as befits a playoff TTN, partly because the whole nation was watching, and partly because the game graced us with seemingly endless Tom Brady and Brett Maher jokes.

So sit back and enjoy!

Disclaimer: All quotes below are taken directly from the open game threads from the SB Nation team sites as indicated in front of every comment. Some minor edits have been made to improve the overall legibility of the quotes and to satisfy our site guidelines, but no other changes have been made, no commentary added.

First Quarter
Seahawks I hate this game. No matter who wins, it will tick me off.
vilanye | 20:04 EDT
Eagles No bad outcome in this game for me. Dak and Dallas could lose. Or Tom Brady could end his season with a playoff loss. Either way, I'm good. Go Birds!
Masked Man | 20:12 EDT
Bucs The fake Buc fans will show up later. The ones that only seem to appear when the Bucs are losing and then trash the coaches, owners and players and claim that they are fans. If the Bucs are winning, they either don't appear or don't say much.
fear the W | 20:14 EDT
Jets I’m just here for the new Mandalorian trailer.
Imacamper | 20:15 EDT
Jets Is this...the first time I'm rooting for the Cowboys? Because we need Brady out of the playoffs ASAP.
gamerk316 | 20:17 EDT
Jets It’s disgusting that a team with a losing record gets home field advantage against a team that won 12 games.
JoCaT33 | 20:17 EDT
Steelers Another Cowboys post-season collapse or Brady out of playoffs. Not sure which to cheer for more.
Steel34Defense | 20:17 EDT
Bucs Cautiously optimistic tonight. Let's go Bucs!
Crandallion | 20:17 EDT
Seahawks Maybe im a crazy person, but I'm rooting for the Cowboys because I'm tired of Brady, and Dallas has been bad for so long that I actually want them to get good again - so I can hate them more
spinerush | 20:18 EDT
Eagles One of the fastest 3 and outs I've seen.
Whatcanyoudo10 | 20:19 EDT
Steelers 15 seconds drive by the Cowboys. Don't see that very often.
oldiowasteel | 20:20 EDT
(14:47) DAL punts
(13:47) TB punts
49ers Wow. Micah Parsons destroyed that whole first drive of the Bucs.
BigMar | 20:23 EDT
Eagles Tampa Bay didn’t game plan for Parsons?
(Un) | 20:23 EDT
It looked like they forgot he was on the team.
David Okinsky | 20:25 EDT
Do you count running right at him and/or mug him a game plan?
GTMoskoff | 20:25 EDT
(11:32) DAL punts
(10:07) TB punts
Bucs Theres just NOTHING fun about this offense.
Raysbucsnbolts | 20:31 EDT
Bucs Damn our O line is already struggling mightily.
Stillmatic | 20:31 EDT
49ers Holy Mackrel! Micah Parsons is bringing it!!! They are holding his butt so he doesn’t kill Brady.
BigMar | 20:33 EDT
Steelers Can’t let Dak complete passes.
Yinzer. | 20:35 EDT
Ok, tell Bucs defense.
Polamolicules Dude | 20:38 EDT
49ers How on earth is Micah Parsons at his weight playing DE, and overpowering, beating OT’s?
BigMar | 20:35 EDT
Commanders Now that fantasy football is over, boo Pollard!!
SDFSUFan2001 | 20:37 EDT
49ers These two teams are trash. This game is to see who gets to get blown out by the Niners next week.
Scarlett&PersonnelGold | 20:38 EDT
I'm not disrespecting any playoff opponent. If Dallas plays their best, they're dangerous.
AG81 | 20:39 EDT
OK, they're trash we'll respect.
Scarlett&PersonnelGold | 20:41 EDT
Eagles Heh. I knew Dak was kinda bad; but this other guy, what is it, Bradley, Braddy? He's awful.
Andy from BL | 20:38 EDT
Steelers Imagine having an RB with a $17M cap hit and your team is better when his backup runs the ball. Pain!
Steel34Defense | 20:39 EDT
Eagles Way too many Dallas fans in Tampa.
johntology | 20:39 EDT
(6:28) D.Prescott pass deep right to D.Schultz for 22 yards, TOUCHDOWN. Extra point is No Good.
DAL 6 - TB 0
Steelers TD Cowboys! Eat that Brady Lovers!!
Polamolicules Dude | 20:40 EDT
Bucs Is this a Cowboys home game?
Steven Eric Wynne | 20:40 EDT
Giants Shame Tampa has next to no chance....I don't think they have their full complement of OL, and Dallas has a really good defense.
Rorschach44 | 20:44 EDT
Giants Dallas has a good team, had to add Hilton, wish we got him.
81ta | 20:44 EDT
Bucs Byron Leftwich will never be a HC calling an offensive game like this.
Darkzoolord | 20:45 EDT
Eagles Micah Parsons has been disruptive so far.
nononono | 20:46 EDT
49ers Brady threw that ball short. I can see why he lasted until the 6th round.
anotherfan | 20:49 EDT
49ers Brady has wheels.
az9rfan | 20:53 EDT
Said no one ever.
mitchadams | 20:53 EDT
Bucs Awesome answer. Need 6.
flasoxfan | 20:53 EDT
Bucs Have to finish this drive in the end zone.
rockies5555 | 20:54 EDT

Second Quarter
(14:58) T.Brady pass short middle INTERCEPTED by J.Kearse at DAL -9. Touchback.
Saints Beautiful interception Brady.
Zippy70816 | 20:56 EDT
Steelers HOF! HOF!
Steel34Defense | 20:56 EDT
Steelers Brady!!! You old fart...
kdsteel | 20:56 EDT
Bucs ESPN jinxed it lol.
SparzWizard | 20:56 EDT
Bucs Sigh. Nevermind. Back to doom and gloom.
Raysbucsnbolts | 20:56 EDT
Vikings Yikes...Tommy making things harder with that pick in the endzone.
chaosg | 20:57 EDT
Saints Ha ha that was hilarious
Aaron90 | 20:57 EDT
Especially after all the Brady doesn't throw red zone ints talk.
Zippy70816 | 20:58 EDT
Aaron90 | 21:03 EDT
Steelers Brady picked! Great job! They jinxed him with all that red zone God talk.
RenoSteelersFan | 20:57 EDT
49ers Ok Shanny. Pull up Dallas films.
ninerminer | 20:57 EDT
Eagles Better give Tom the kid-protected Surface tablet.
ToddSK | 20:58 EDT
Steelers I heard Brady's kids play Madden 23 so they can spend time with their dad.
p-squared | 21:00 EDT
Bucs Dallas scored 6 pts last week. Come on Tampa.
Detsports | 21:01 EDT
Vikings Im usually opposed to uniforms that use 3 different colors (helmet, jersey, pants) but I think it's the best looking Dallas uniform they have.
NM_Vike | 21:01 EDT
Giants I hate rooting for TB, but man I hope they find a way for this upset.
The FlyingHellfish | 21:01 EDT
49ers Could get ugly. Dallas might blow them out.
AG81 | 21:03 EDT
Steelers Keeping with my "Why did this TE drop in the draft" complaints... Jake Ferguson. He was so good with ball in his hand at Wisconsin. Should not have dropped to end of 4th.
Steel34Defense | 21:04 EDT
49ers Damn. If the matchup is against the Cowboys, it’s gonna be a tough one. I thought the Cowboys were not that good?
Kezar Days | 21:04 EDT
They looked okay since the 3rd drive but they also won 12 games. Nnot bad if you ask me.
mitchadams | 21:05 EDT
They're a high-powered offense.
ElijahB | 21:05 EDT
Eagles Guys, we want Dallas to win – they’ll make SF work harder. Still lose, but still.
SeattleEagles | 21:04 EDT
Nope. We love the agony over at BTB after another playoff one and done!
Texadelphian | 21:06 EDT
(6:13) D.Prescott left end for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN. Extra point is No Good
DAL 12 - TB 0
Saints Ha...Dallas got guts. Nice play and TD for Dak.
Zippy70816 | 21:07 EDT
49ers Lol Troy shut up about taking 3 points at the goal line,
Licha | 21:07 EDT
Eagles How did TB fail to cover Dak? He could have walked in to the end zone backwards there,
nononono | 21:08 EDT
Vikings Dallas kicker 0 - 2 on extra points LoL
Minnesota1952 | 21:09 EDT
0 - 3 now.
Minnesota1952 | 21:32 EDT
Vikings fans everywhere are laughing. Only difference is Dallas is good enough to not even need the extra points tonight.
MissouriVikesFan | 21:33 EDT
Whereas the Vikings need every point they can get, always.
Are we cursed? | 21:33 EDT
Minnesota1952 | 21:35 EDT
Eagles If DAL scores here, this game is over.
nononono | 21:19 EDT
Eagles Looking like 18-0 at the half.
(Un) | 21:20 EDT
Eagles You've already included the missed XP! Lol.
BB66 | 21:22 EDT
Eagles Tommy Tantrums are hilarious.
froggyluv | 21:10 EDT
Seahawks Bucs playing like they got Pete Carroll for a coach.
adelphis | 21:16 EDT
Bucs Tom looking like a wreck out there yelling after every play.
nogoodusername | 21:16 EDT
(3:39) TB punts
Giants Brady blew up his personal life for this?
supfrankie | 21:20 EDT
Steelers I’m guessing only 2pt conversions from the Cowboys for the rest of tonight. I’ll be happy with a 20-0 lead going into the half. I guess.
RenoSteelersFan | 21:20 EDT
49ers We’re going to have to keep Kittle at home to help McG against Micah Parsons.
ThrillisGone22 | 21:24 EDT
Bucs Dak's in a groove and Dallas has the momentum. Bucs are in trouble unless they can disrupt this trend in the second half.
Sparkvark66 | 21:24 EDT
Steelers Dak has finally settled in. Feel bad for him a bit because he gets ripped way too much. If he wasn't on Cowboys I'd be cheering for his success.
Steel34Defense | 21:30 EDT
(0:27) D.Prescott pass short left to D.Schultz for 11 yards, TOUCHDOWN. Extra point is No Good
DAL 18 - TB 0
Bucs Someone declare a TKO.
DitchWildhack | 21:30 EDT
Saints Dallas' TEs eatin TB's lunch.
metryman | 21:31 EDT
Steelers What the heck? Is there a force field over the uprights tonight? Somebody check and make sure the kicker has his contacts in.
p-squared | 21:31 EDT
Steelers Kicker isn’t coming out of the locker room. How much is an Uber from Tampa to Dallas?
RenoSteelersFan | 21:31 EDT
49ers Game over, now we get to hear how great the Cowboys are all week. Think I’ll stay away from the talking heads.
coveman | 21:31 EDT
49ers Holy moly guacamole" Did he really. Miss again?????
ElijahB | 21:31 EDT
Bucs TD drives of 80, 80, and 91 yards. Fire Bowles and Leftwich immediately after this game if we lose.
Raysbucsnbolts | 21:31 EDT
Eagles I just tuned in ... Did the Cowboys kick 6 field goals..??
Greasy Meale | 21:31 EDT
Chiefs Heck of a throw by Dak. The Bucks have struggled with covering tight ends all season, it's not crazy to say this game doesn't look good for Tampa.
chiefcalls | 21:32 EDT
Raiders Seen this movie plenty of times...ain't fallin' for the okie doke yet.
torindorn4life | 21:32 EDT
49ers Dak is dialed in right now. Good thing is they’ll keep MM another year.
Licha | 21:32 EDT
Bucs The only chance we have is Maher right now.
latrell spreewel | 21:32 EDT
Bucs Best player for the Bucs is the Dallas kicker!
poindexterregan | 21:32 EDT
Giants Dak looks like he’s on. Their kicker… not so much.
roar13 | 21:33 EDT
End of Half
49ers 3 missed XP’s seems like the kind of thing the football gods will punish. I wouldn’t be surprised if Brady and the Bucs have a strong second half and end up winning by 2.
Ray Flosse | 21:33 EDT
49ers Get that tape ready for Dallas.. I usually never count out Brady, but this game is over.
NinersfanBSB#41 | 21:36 EDT
Lions Anybody want a slightly used Dallas kicker?
In Goff We Trust | 21:39 EDT
Steelers If your kids are looking, close their eyes!


There, I feel better!
Polamolicules Dude | 21:39 EDT
Eagles Brady announcing his retirement at halftime.
nononono | 21:39 EDT
Giants All I know is Cowboys better be up by more than 8pts when its 4th qtr.
LegionofBlue14 | 21:40 EDT
Rams Niners will have their hands full on Sunday. Seahawks had them on the ropes. Dallas is going to knock them out.
Vancouver56 | 21:46 EDT

Third Quarter
49ers I anticipate Brady to start yelling at somebody before this game is over…
BigMar | 21:51 EDT
Bucs We're going to win this game, and some of you guys are gonna look like total morons when we do - after how you've bashed on Brady this first half.
Raysbucsnbolts | 21:51 EDT
(14:18) TB punts
Bucs Nevermind. That was awful.
Raysbucsnbolts | 21:53 EDT
49ers Solid halftime adjustments by Tampa. Clearly.
ninebyninerwest | 21:55 EDT
49ers Pathetic. Can Shanny start planning for Dallas now?
dartdart | 21:55 EDT
He was planning for them in the middle of the 2nd Quarter
NinersfanBSB#41 | 21:55 EDT
Vikings Tampa is playing to the Cowboys defense strength which is pass defense. Tampa can't run the ball at all and the Cowboys defense is not that good against the run.
cpappa | 21:59 EDT
And on the other side, Dallas is just super balanced and executing with precision on offense. Though it pains me to say it.
Ragnarsson | 22:05 EDT
Giants Dalton Shultz anyone? Could be more cost effective than signing a big name WR.
dviswr20 | 21:59 EDT
Seahawks You guys. This is the Tampa team we lost to.
IWentToJared | 22:00 EDT
Steelers If the Cowboys score a TD here, they should let Dak try the XP.
Fe City | 22:00 EDT
49ers Tampa Bay Doormats.
ninebyninerwest | 22:00 EDT
Giants I want a Dallas TD just to see if their kicker will miss a 4th extra point.
atl23 | 22:02 EDT
(10:04) D.Prescott pass short left to M.Gallup for 2 yards, TOUCHDOWN. Extra point is No Good
DAL 24 - TB 0
49ers 25-0… Blowout city
NinersfanBSB#41 | 22:02 EDT
Kezar Days | 22:04 EDT
OMG.. He missed 4 now
NinersfanBSB#41 | 22:06 EDT
Bucs We're getting run out of our own building.
Raysbucsnbolts | 22:02 EDT
Bucs It’s over.
Mrcogburn | 22:02 EDT
Call in the next of kin.
Mrcogburn | 22:02 EDT
Seahawks Imagine being a team like the Lions that didnt make the playoffs because the NFC South had to have one of its teams in the playoffs.
spinerush | 22:05 EDT
Eagles Bucs have the entire starting secondary for the first time since week 7 and Dak is carving them up like nothing. And they told me Todd Bowles was a genius DC.
phillyeagleGuy | 22:05 EDT
Lions Has to be a new all-time NFL record = 4 missed extra points in a row. How is that even possible ?
Rockdog77 | 22:07 EDT
49ers If Tampa could only play like their field goal post!
bignerd | 22:07 EDT
49ers I'm sure he'll make some 60 yarder against us next week.
falseintellect | 22:07 EDT
Eagles “Should feel horrible for him.” Nah, I’m laughing my ass off.
Your friendly optimistic Eagle | 22:07 EDT
Bucs I’d rather be 0 for 4 on extra points, than 0 for 0!!!!!
JBme | 22:08 EDT
Giants Am I going nuts here, why isn't McCarthy just going for 2 at this point?
dviswr20 | 22:09 EDT
Lions Love how lost Brady looks! Glad that dbag is struggling!
akadwriter84 | 22:11 EDT
Eagles Brady’s arm is turning to jello as we watch
goodzilla | 22:11 EDT
Eagles I can't enjoy Brady sucking as much when it's against the Cowboys. This is lame.
A Graham Short | 22:11 EDT
Eagles Updating my list of high-paying jobs I'm not qualified for:
1) astronaut
2) doctor
3) hedge fund manager
4) lottery winner
5) kicker for Dallas Cowboys
bird_brains | 22:11 EDT
Giants 3 NFC East teams in the Divisional round. Wild.
The FlyingHellfish | 22:12 EDT
2 more than I would like.
LegionofBlue14 | 22:12 EDT
Jets I want to see the Cowboys score another TD to see if he misses again.
Jeremy J. Jackson | 22:13 EDT
Steelers At this point the Cowboys kicker just needs ro embrace the meme and intentionally miss the rest of the extra points this game.
Steel34Defense | 22:14 EDT
Bucs I'm starting to think they're playing this badly on purpose. Like performance art or something. I just can't fathom professional football players actually being this bad at their jobs.
MD Pats Fan | 22:14 EDT
Steelers Brady’s arthritis is acting up apparently.
RenoSteelersFan | 22:16 EDT
Eagles Brady picked a hell of a game to play like a 6th round pick.
EbbyCalvinLaLoosh | 22:16 EDT
(8:18) TB punts
Steelers I dislike Brady and the Cowboys. I am conflicted on who to hate.
iowasteel22 | 22:18 EDT
Bucs Evans running around in circles, making up his own routes.
JBme | 22:18 EDT
Giants The Bucs look completely impotent. The only drama left is rubbernecking the Maher car crash. Maybe he should try bare foot.
atl23 | 22:19 EDT
49ers Brady can't go out like this. He probably won't retire.
AG81 | 22:19 EDT
Steelers Brady is currently sporting a 44 Passer Rating.
Steel34Defense | 22:20 EDT
Bucs Is Varsity versus JV out there. Dak is just toying.....
David Kristoffer | 22:23 EDT
49ers Brady can take solace in that there’s one other guy having a worse game.
ribico | 22:24 EDT
(3:17) DAL punts
Bills Parsons is going to snap Brock Purdy in half next week. Deebo will have to sub in at QB, maybe even punter.
jg funk | 22:26 EDT
Saints Tom Brady is looking like Drew Brees in his last playoff game.
Oreck Vincent | 22:28 EDT
Commanders So the whole NFC East makes the Divisional round playoffs except Washington. Thanks Ron, the plan is working.
HeathShulerRookieCard | 22:30 EDT
(0:00) T.Brady pass to J.Jones for 30 yards, TOUCHDOWN. TWO-POINT CONVERSION ATTEMPT FAILS.
DAL 24 - TB 6

Fourth Quarter
Giants Gotta admit Dak has made some big time throws in this one.
dviswr20 | 22:43 EDT
Seahawks Dallas looks like a team that could win three road games to get to the Super Bowl.
Nshima | 22:44 EDT
(10:13) D.Prescott pass short left to C.Lamb for 18 yards, TOUCHDOWN. Extra point is GOOD
DAL 31 - TB 6
Steelers Odds on a fifth miss? Could it happen?
RenoSteelersFan | 22:45 EDT
Steelers He made it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yinzer. | 22:45 EDT
Vikings Uh oh here is XP attempt #5 now and he finally makes one.
cpappa | 22:45 EDT
Bucs Huge cheer on the extra point. Disgusting how many Cwboys "Fans" are there.
Raysbucsnbolts | 22:46 EDT
Giants How did the Bucs make the playoffs?
LegionofBlue14 | 22:47 EDT
Saints Dallas is making them look like a high school team.
Oreck Vincent | 22:48 EDT
Dolphins Tom Brady: "I'll take that cane now."
FlyerFinFan | 22:48 EDT
Saints Cannot believe we lost twice to these bums.
JRick's Burner Account | 22:49 EDT
Bucs Merry Jerry Jones celebrating over this game is just pitiful.
Mrcogburn | 22:51 EDT
Saints Tom knows it’s over.
Oreck Vincent | 22:52 EDT
Jets Oh God help us if Brady becomes a broadcaster.
JoCaT33 | 22:52 EDT
Bucs Check that out. Bucs moving the ball at will now.
Raysbucsnbolts | 22:54 EDT
You do understand it’s because the Cowboys are letting them do it to run clock right?
Griddy313 | 22:55 EDT
Get lost scumbucket troll.
Raysbucsnbolts | 22:55 EDT
Eagles I'm just going to avoid sports radio and shows for this week.
el aguila | 22:55 EDT
(6:25) 4th & 11: T.Brady pass incomplete short middle. Turnover on downs.
Lions Love seeing Brady get ragdolled!
akadwriter84 | 22:58 EDT
Bucs All these announcers really have no clue. They expected Fournette to show out??!! He's incredibly SLOW! His feet are like 2 cinder blocks that can't get 2 inches off the ground
Horn2BWild | 22:58 EDT
(4:53) DAL Punts
49ers Tom Brady won the battle by getting Bruce Arians fired but Bruce won the war by giving him the Trojan horse Todd Bowles.
Licha | 23:00 EDT
Bucs Just retire already.
ToadLicker | 23:00 EDT
Eagles Dez didn’t catch it.
Your friendly optimistic Eagle | 23:00 EDT
Eagles It's like their gameplan was to do everything they could to make Cowboys look good.
BB66 | 23:00 EDT
Saints Sean Payton gambled on Dallas and lost. Now he’s going to go to a team that’s worse off than the Saints.
Oreck Vincent | 23:02 EDT
Steelers Tampa just giving up now finally running the ball.
Steel34Defense | 23:05 EDT
Lions Buc’s need to throw in the towel. Even McCarthy looks like he doesn’t want Brady hurt!!
Builder_Ron | 23:06 EDT
49ers Who is Brady screaming at? His passes are waaay off. He should be screaming at himself.
CENCAL559ER | 23:07 EDT
49ers What's old is new again. This is gonna be another 1980's Cowboys vs Niners playoff game.
Kezar Days | 23:13 EDT
(2:04) T.Brady pass short left to C.Brate for 8 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
DAL 31 - TB 14
Seahawks Quick score, onside kick, quick score, onside kick, quick score, GOAT does it again!
Nshima | 23:19 EDT
(2:04) TB onside kick RECOVERED by TB
Jets I think this is Dak’s finest performance. If he can do this for 4 weeks this might be their year
IMissFatRex | 23:20 EDT
(1:12) 4th & 5: T.Brady pass incomplete short middle to J.Jones. Turnover on downs.
Steelers Cowboys have 5 TDs and 31 pts. I find that amazing.
RenoSteelersFan | 23:25 EDT
End of Game
Jets The NFC East at the start of the 2022/23 season was thought to be the weak conference. Look at them now.
g&wtitans | 23:27 EDT
Eagles Ask Dak about his kicker. Ask him about his kicker !! HAHAHA!
bird_brains | 23:27 EDT
Jets Dak looked really, really good. If they get that Dak, Dallas will be scary.
Jeremy J. Jackson | 23:35 EDT

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