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Trolling The Nation for Cowboys vs Commanders: ‘Pretty sad when you don’t even like your own team’

Who is ready for a Thanksgiving edition of TROLLING THE NATION???

Philadelphia Eagles v Washington Commanders Photo by Jess Rapfogel/Getty Images

That turned out to be a tasty Thanksgiving treat the Dallas Cowboys served yesterday, and here’s your chance to re-live the Washington Commanders game from other fans’ perspective. We try to understand how other fans view the Dallas Cowboys, witness the horror in people’s reactions as they watch the Cowboys defense wreck one opponent after another, and read how other fans grudgingly, angrily, or dejectedly realize that the 2023 Cowboys are pretty good.

As usual, all quotes below are taken directly from the open game threads from the SB Nation team sites indicated in front of every comment. Some minor edits have been made to improve the overall legibility of the quotes and to satisfy the site guidelines of our board, but no other changes have been made, no commentary added. So sit back and enjoy some leftovers from yesterday’s game that are just as tasty the following day.

First Quarter
Eagles In the spirit of the season.......Dallas Plucks!
17thandShunk | 16:09 EDT
Commanders If Green Bay did it - Why can't we?
Ithaquaa Lovecraft | 16:14 EDT
Ron Rivera.
EternalDanSnyderRespecter | 16:33 EDT
Steelers Come on Commandos!
Yinzer. | 16:18 EDT
Commanders [Bless] the Cowboys. Having said that I hope none of the Washington players get hurt during the beating that is about to take place.
jmauthe | 16:27 EDT
Commanders We can beat them….it is possible. We go as the defense goes.
EternalDanSnyderRespecter | 16:33 EDT
If we go as the defense goes, we'll be picking first in the draft.
MattInBrisVegas | 16:34 EDT
Commanders Let’s at least give them a real game.
murtd1 | 16:35 EDT
(13:10) S.Howell sacked at WAS 45 for -8 yards (J.Hankins).
Commanders Maybe we should ask who DIDN'T get beaten on the sack.
jmauthe | 16:40 EDT
(11:33) WAS punts
Commanders That O-line is diabolical. Slow, poor technique, and just really not athletic.
Huxley college | 16:41 EDT
Rivera’s boys. Every [last] one of them.
Captainobvios | 16:43 EDT
Commanders We need to blitz every play. Can’t give Dak time to setup and look for Lamb.
Captainobvios | 16:41 EDT
Commanders They blitzed and no one got close to Dak. Pathetic.
Captainobvios | 16:45 EDT
Commanders That secondary is an atrocity.
Huxley college | 16:46 EDT
No pass rush. They can only cover so long.
Captainobvios | 16:50 EDT
No they can't.
MattInBrisVegas | 16:50 EDT
(9:59) DAL punts
Commanders As soon as the Cowboys adjust and hit that deep ball, we are [fraggle rocked].
jmauthe | 16:47 EDT
Commanders Howell was a Cowboys fan?
MattInBrisVegas | 16:52 EDT
I can forgive him. We all make mistakes when we are young.
jmauthe | 16:53 EDT
As long as he repented.
Ryan1967 | 16:55 EDT
(5:53) WAS punts
Steelers Punting on 4th and 2 was stupid.
Yinzer. | 16:57 EDT
Commanders What's the point of not going for it? Absolute cowardice.
Huxley college | 16:57 EDT
Commanders Even Jim Nance can’t believe Rivera punted there.
EvangelNC | 16:57 EDT
Commanders Glad we hired an analytics guy. Now we need a HC who understands him.
MattInBrisVegas | 16:58 EDT
Eagles For the sake of WFT’s fans… get rid of this bum Ron Rivera. 4th and 2, inside Cowboys territory, you’re moving the ball down the field at five yards a clip AND YOU PUNT?! You’re 4-7, you coward, go for it.
PhillyBirdGang | 16:59 EDT
Chiefs It's irritating watching a lot of different teams have players that can catch a pass over 25 yards.
Grif 2112 | 17:04 EDT
Commanders Cowboys hurting themselves. Only way we have a shot.
jmauthe | 17:05 EDT
Commanders 2nd and 25. Of course they get the first.
BillyBigBeer | 17:06 EDT
Commanders 2nd and 20 makes no difference opposing teams get it easily.
murtd1 | 17:06 EDT
Commanders Our defenders are getting manhandled. Can’t get off the blocks.
Captainobvios | 17:07 EDT
Eagles Rivera sets the tone with that coward punt. Was there any doubt Dallas scores a TD after that?
Bleedgreen93 | 17:08 EDT
49ers These State Farm commercials are so freaking annoying.
IllWill49 | 17:08 EDT
(0:46) D.Prescott pass short right to R.Dowdle for 15 yards, TOUCHDOWN
DAL 7 - WAS 0
Commanders Happy tanksgiving!
kjordan87 | 17:08 EDT
Commanders Absolutely pathetic defense. 95 yards, never felt in doubt.
thetopcat2000 | 17:10 EDT
Commanders It will be a moral victory if we can get out of the first quarter only down 7.
LucasO | 17:11 EDT
Eagles Dallas is killing them with screens and stretch plays to the edges.
Texadelphian | 17:14 EDT

Second Quarter
Commanders Team looks totally flat, beaten already.
thetopcat2000 | 17:15 EDT
Commanders Interesting. BRob rushes for 12 yards and Romo talks about how brilliant Dan Quinn is.
Bill-in-Bangkok | 17:21 EDT
He Won't.Stop.Talking. Vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
Huxley college | 17:17 EDT
49ers Shhh secret. I'm making my cranberry sauce now but instead of orange juice I'm adding Grand Marnier.
Global_Swarming | 17:23 EDT
Commanders At some time the O-line are going to have to learn to block on a screen.
Captainobvios | 17:24 EDT
I would be fine if they learned how to block anything.
jmauthe | 17:26 EDT
(11:27) WAS field goal is GOOD
DAL 7 - WAS 3
(8:27) D.Prescott pass deep left to B.Cooks for 31 yards, TOUCHDOWN
DAL 14 - WAS 3
Commanders Let the blowout begin. All day long.
Captainobvios | 17:32 EDT
Commanders Defense has clearly given up.
Huxley college | 17:33 EDT
How is this any different from games when they were allegedly trying?
monroekelly21 | 17:33 EDT
Sadly, I think they are still trying.
LucasO | 17:33 EDT
Commanders And that's game.
No_Good_2.0 | 17:33 EDT
Commanders I’m done. No more comments. I won’t waste my valuable time on this [Shitake mushroom].
Captainobvios | 17:35 EDT
Sun is shining.
Moonage Daydream | 17:36 EDT
Eagles Can’t wait to hear the Cowboys fans declare themselves the champions of the league again after today.
Bleedgreen93 | 17:37 EDT
Commanders It's 14-3, Washington has the ball. Romo: "You're very close to getting blown out..."
Bill-in-Bangkok | 17:38 EDT
He’s not wrong
EternalDanSnyderRespecter | 17:38 EDT
He's not wrong
Moonage Daydream | 17:39 EDT
Commanders Who's down?
GhostofJKCooke | 17:40 EDT
The team's dignity
Huxley college | 17:40 EDT
(4:50) (Shotgun) S.Howell sacked at DAL 41 for -7 yards (sack split by D.Fowler and M.Parsons).
Commanders If we had a player like McLaurin on the Commanders I would try to force the ball to him as often as possible.
MrParty | 17:46 EDT
You spoke it into existence. Now do our D.
Gravy Goodtime | 17:47 EDT
49ers Cowboys look really good tbh. Ideally there would be a Eagles/Cowboys matchup in the playoffs and we could avoid playing both teams.
Sebfartbubblz | 17:47 EDT
49ers Only way Washington wins this is with a few Dallas turnovers. C’mon Dak!
Billringformayor | 17:48 EDT
Commanders You have to figure that Dallas is going to score a TD against our crappy defense on every possession so FGs just won’t cut it here.
Redskins1975 | 17:51 EDT
We all know this. Let us maintain our suspension of disbelief as long as possible.
MrParty | 17:52 EDT
(1:51) S.Howell right tackle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN.
DAL 14 - WAS 10
Commanders Ron almost showed emotion. He must’ve taken a fistful of amphetamines before the game.
MrParty | 17:54 EDT
Commanders Now our [sufferin’ succotash] defense is going to give up a TD.
Kush1 | 17:55 EDT
Commanders If we can just hold them to a touchdown here we’ll only be down by 11 going into the half.
MrParty | 17:57 EDT
Giants Washington getting fooled on Dak's "here we go" cadence.
BarfieldBestArmEver | 17:59 EDT
(0:26) T.Pollard up the middle for 7 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
DAL 20 - WAS 10
Commanders Jack Del Rio should be terminated in the locker room at half.
GhostofJKCooke | 17:59 EDT
Commanders Excellent strategy by del Rio here. They’re going to score a touchdown, obviously, so let them score quickly so we get the ball back with some time left.
MrParty | 17:59 EDT
Commanders They left us w 26 seconds, just enough time for 2 sacks.
Kush1 | 18:00 EDT
Commanders Missed XP. Make ‘em pay.
pyrotech | 18:00 EDT
Commanders Dallas is going to regret missing that XP
Moonage Daydream | 18:02 EDT
End of Half
Commanders Alright folks, enjoy the rest of this mess. The dinner bell just rang.
pyrotech | 18:06 EDT
Commanders Our secondary is getting gashed. I wish we’d spent our top two draft picks on DBs this year.
MrParty | 18:10 EDT
It's funny but it hurts
Asmaki | 18:17 EDT
Commanders We going to give up 50 on Thanksgiving to our arch nemesis.... No pride
Kush1 | 18:12 EDT
Commanders At least there will probably be a TTN over on BtB courtesy of OCC.
Prb2758 | 18:13 EDT
Eagles Dolly *singing* “We Are the Champions” in Dallas is the most hilarious thing you’ll see today
CrimedogPSU93 | 18:24 EDT
Dolphins WTH? Everyone's in a food coma, huh?
daytonadolfan | 18:24 EDT
Commanders I honestly believe we’re going to cover the spread today. Assuming the spread was 30.
MrParty | 18:25 EDT

Third Quarter
Commanders We are getting owned by a QB named after sliced ham. This is where we are right now.
MrParty | 18:26 EDT
Commanders Sam takes a time out to go to the sideline and say "Really?"
MattInBrisVegas | 18:28 EDT
I believe it.
WashNDUNC | 18:38 EDT
Steelers McCarthy has enough plays on his play sheet to have a D Ring to flip through the pages.
Yinzer. | 18:29 EDT
Commanders A shutdown corner like St-Juste has earned the right to showboat on an incompletion like that.
MrParty | 18:29 EDT
Assuming you forgot the sarcasm font.
WestCoastHokie | 18:29 EDT
I am the sarcasm font.
MrParty | 18:30 EDT
(13:02) DAL punts
Commanders The screen saver on my TV just activated in the middle of the game. Everyone’s a critic.
MrParty | 18:37 EDT
Commanders Uhhhhh. Clock management sucks so bad.
BillyBigBeer | 18:38 EDT
Commanders That was a wasted TO.
GhostofJKCooke | 18:38 EDT
Steelers If you are in shotgun on 3rd & 1 you are doing something wrong.
Steel34Defense | 18:39 EDT
(8:13) 4th & 1 at DAL 39: B.Robinson for -2 yards (O.Odighizuwa, D.Wilson). Turnover on downs.
Steelers Repeat for 4th & 1. Do not run from shotgun in short yardage.
Steel34Defense | 18:40 EDT
Commanders “Ok Sam, it’s 4th and 1, let’s run that shotgun draw right at 1,200lbs of DL!”
Proposition_Joe | 18:41 EDT
Commanders Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Running is working, so go for the deep pass on 3rd and 1.
MattInBrisVegas | 18:41 EDT
Commanders Hope Josh Harris is as angry as I am.
MattInBrisVegas | 18:42 EDT
Commanders The Eric Bienemy for Head Coach crowd not too vocal, lol.
Taylor703 | 18:43 EDT
I’d consider him for DC. He’s great at shutting down 4th and short.
MrParty | 18:44 EDT
Eagles Dallas stacks the interior, so of course you call a play that runs right into it.
Domonate | 18:44 EDT
(6:43) DAL punts
Commanders My God this game is exhibit A in how horrible our coaching is. Really many more exhibits, but who’s counting.
Hardroc21 | 18:46 EDT
Commanders TheO-line are in Mexico by the time of the final hut.
Huxley college | 18:50 EDT
Commanders Romo turned into Aikman. Babbling on and on about the Cowboys of ole.
No_Good_2.0 | 18:52 EDT
(2:53) WAS punts
Commanders Sit the people who make the mistake.
Huxley college | 18:53 EDT
Then we couldn’t field 11.
Gravy Goodtime | 18:54 EDT
Commanders Has Prescott been touched in this game?
Huxley college | 18:54 EDT
Not even pressured.
Red_Pill | 18:54 EDT
Haven't even been in the back field. Prescott could bake a turkey back there.
No_Good_2.0 | 18:55 EDT
Commanders Need a turnover.
Greengmork | 18:56 EDT
And a new head coach, general manager, offensive coordinator, defensive coordinator, secondary, linebacking corps, and offensive line.
MrParty | 18:56 EDT
And a new name and unis.
BillyBigBeer | 18:57 EDT
49ers Is Dak's "here we go" cadence new? I hate it.
Mertons_merkin | 18:59 EDT

Fourth Quarter
Steelers I hate you, Dallas.
Yinzer. | 19:01 EDT
Commanders The old rivalry is dead. Died when Snyder came along. Along with a tradition of winning.
BillyBigBeer | 19:01 EDT
Commanders I think if we could just cover, tackle, and game plan, we would be right in this.
MrParty | 19:01 EDT
And pressure the passer.
MattInBrisVegas | 19:02 EDT
Let’s not get greedy.
MrParty | 19:03 EDT
Commanders How is this not a 30-point game by now. How are we theoretically in this.
MrParty | 19:04 EDT
Commanders Romo's doing comedy now.
MattInBrisVegas | 19:05 EDT
(13:36) B.Aubrey 52 yard field goal is GOOD
DAL 23 - WAS 10
Commanders So this is how Ron coaches when he’s fighting for his professional life. He folds his arms a little tighter. Clenches his jaw a little harder. And has his team just as unprepared to play.
MrParty | 19:08 EDT
(13:36) S.Howell sacked at WAS 18 for -7 yards (M.Parsons).
Commanders I guess we draft a Right Tackle too. This Oline can’t stop a Girl Scout troop.
Chihuahuin | 19:12 EDT
(11:56) 4th & 1 at WSH 34: S.Howell sacked (J.Hankins). Turnover on downs.
Commanders Turn out the lights, the party's over.
Bill-in-Bangkok | 19:13 EDT
Steelers I would kill for Kenny to have that type of interior protection.
Steel34Defense | 19:14 EDT
(10:32) D.Prescott pass short right to C.Lamb for 15 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
DAL 31 - WAS 10
Commanders Prescott 10 seconds to throw.... TD
WMdSkinsFan | 19:14 EDT
Panthers Damone Clark, the guy I wanted over Brandon Smith in 2022. Year 2 and having a good year starting... Go figure
Dcangio09 | 19:15 EDT
Commanders That botched two point conversion is going to come back to bite Dallas in the [tushy]. It’s gonna be the difference between them winning by 23 and winning by 25.
MrParty | 19:15 EDT
Commanders Called incomplete but it will be reversed.
Chihuahuin | 19:15 EDT
Eagles I love when Romo says "The Cowboys can win the Super Bowl." It makes me laugh hysterically.
EaglesFanatic80 | 19:16 EDT
Commanders Should kill it on mock drafts this week.
Killer McCoy | 19:16 EDT
"NiCe mOcK bRo" season.
kuudoo | 19:16 EDT
Commanders Need a shot of Harris's owners box. See if he's still laughing and grinning.
Gilchrist | 19:18 EDT
Commanders How does a rookie safety end up 1-on-1 with Lamb?
Greengmork | 19:20 EDT
(8:50) 4th & 4 at DAL 35: S.Howell pass incomplete to T.McLaurin. Turnover on downs.
Commanders Jack Del Rio needs to be fired in the locker room and have to get a rent a car back to DC.
1985redskin | 19:26 EDT
(5:59) D.Prescott pass deep middle to K.Turpin for 34 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
DAL 38 - WAS 10
Commanders These guys are eating turkey... Beating our butts so bad they can get a snack in.
Kush1 | 19:27 EDT
Steelers I’m jealous of a QB with multiple TD passes in a game.
Kyjake | 19:28 EDT
Commanders Never seen so many wide open receivers in an NFL game.
Moonage Daydream | 19:28 EDT
Commanders Embrace the suck. I'm enjoying this actually. Highly entertaining how bad we are.
Mook-Mook | 19:28 EDT
49ers I like how Dallas doesn’t take their foot off the pedal and puts teams away.
Sebfartbubblz | 19:29 EDT
Commanders HOWELL in the huddle saying we can't let the defense back on the field.
Glenn#42 | 19:31 EDT
(4:39) S.Howell pass INTERCEPTED by D.Bland at DAL 37. D.Bland for 63 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
DAL 45 - WAS 10
Steelers Bland singlehandedly preventing Myles Garrett from getting DPOY! You love to see it.
Steel34Defense | 19:31 EDT
Commanders Of course… Icing on the cake
1x1an | 19:32 EDT
Commanders So they draft a guy in the 5th round who is way better than our 1st or 2nd round DBs.
IrishSkins | 19:32 EDT
Commanders On the bright side, our mighty 10-pt offense gets the ball back.
MrParty | 19:32 EDT
Commanders 45-10, that's more like it....
Proposition_Joe | 19:32 EDT
Eagles The Bland thing is impressive. Can’t even hate.
Be subpar for Ja'Marr | 19:33 EDT
Eagles Despite the scores I felt the Packers win was more dominating than the Cowboys. This one was close until the 4th quarter and the other one never really was close.
Domonate | 19:35 EDT
Yep, that's logical. A 6-point win is much more dominating than a 35-point win!
Star Power | 22:55 EDT
Bengals Bland with the record! That was a good one too, he wouldn’t be denied.
MikeBrownsGolfCart | 19:35 EDT
Commanders New owners should form a committee to deliver the termination notices. We can call it a firing squad.
MattInBrisVegas | 19:35 EDT
Eagles Cowboys at home are a problem. Too bad they won't have a home playoff game.
phillyphanatic10 | 19:36 EDT
49ers I hate the Cowboys, but hats off to DaRon Bland breaking the single-season pick-6 record.
CohnDelendaEst | 19:36 EDT
Commanders I dislike this team. Pretty sad when you don't even like your own team.
SDFSUFan2001 | 19:40 EDT
Panthers Watching Green Bay, Detroit, and Dallas, [tarnation] we are bottom dwellers. Everyone has the same cap but we put the worst product on the field.
Panther-Try | 19:41 EDT
End of game
Eagles I'm worried about Dallas, they look really good. Kind of nervous about winning the division honestly.
insaneeaglesfanatic | 19:52 EDT
Eagles Props to DaRon Bland. Amazing feat.
greensince1972 | 20:09 EDT

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