Headlines From The Future: Explaining potential Dallas Cowboys realities

When it comes to the idea of multiple timelines the Marvel Cinematic Universe gets a lot of credit; however, I attribute the origins of the phenomenon in recent pop culture discussions to something different.

If you are a fan of the television show Community then you are likely well-familiar with the episode Remedial Chaos Theory from the show’s third season. It is arguably the best episode that the show ever produced which is saying something.

No worries you aren’t a fan (HOW DARE YOU), I’ve got you covered. What you need to know is that there is a group of seven people hanging out in an apartment waiting on a pizza delivery, and when the door buzzes that the delivery has arrived, the group’s de facto leader suggests rolling a dice to determine who will go get it (after numbering each individual).

It is at this point that another member of the group notes that six (the number of sides on a die) timelines are suddenly being created because the subsequent results of each one will carry out different results and/or consequences. This is the “best” timeline discussion:

Before the best timeline unfolds the others are carried out through the magic and wonder of television. Some are rather inconsequential but some lead to ultimate disaster including one of the more famous memes in internet history.

What do these 230 words about timelines have to do with the Dallas Cowboys, you ask? Well on the latest BTB Roundtable we sort of explored timelines with a game that we like to call Headlines From The Future.

On HFTF our panelists were each prompted with a hypothetical headline from the future (shocker, I know) and charged with explaining how that happened. In other words they had to build a story and sequence of events that could happen across the upcoming Cowboys season to properly explain the results. You can watch the episode featuring Brandon Clements, Chris Halling, Tony Catalina and myself here.

Here are some of the headlines we discussed and the potential paths towards them.

The leader in receiving touchdowns was not CeeDee Lamb

In the alternate world that we visited the Dallas Cowboys leader in receiving touchdowns was not their number one wide receiver. Whoa! What a reality!

Lamb, of course, led the team in receiving scores last year with nine, but do you know who did it in 2021? It was actually a tie between two players, both Amari Cooper and Dalton Schultz each had eight.

Something that I don’t think we really talk about is that 2021 was sort of Dak Prescott’s first full season with Dalton Schultz as his totally-established starting tight end. 2020 was the year that Blake Jarwin was promised the role before injury and Dak himself was lost for the season shortly after. Schultz came on during that season with Dak absent, and the two worked together very well in that initial season of 2021 which saw Schultz actively involved.

None of this is meant to say or imply that Lamb will have a poor performance this season, but there are a lot of mouths to feed. As noted, Dak is a fan of his tight ends to a great degree and now has a number of options there. Beyond that Michael Gallup figures to be better with more time between him and his own injury and, oh yea, Brandin Cooks is a thing now.

It is possible, although against the odds, that somebody winds up beating Lamb out here.

It should have been obvious in May that this move was not going to work out

This one was particularly fun and painful to talk about, and ultimately came down to two things.

Tony Catalina offered the notion that what the Cowboys are doing about left guard is a problem that seems like it is going to rear its ugly head as the season moves along, Now to be fair to the Cowboys, it appears as if they do have a plan at left guard, they just aren’t letting us know what it is entirely which is very frustrating.

Beyond the guard issue though lies the incredibly obviously-not-great kicker situation. Is the Cowboys kicker, the one that will start for them in the regular season, even on the team right now? No, right?

Chris Halling noted that no position on a football team scores more points than the kicker. We are not quite in the eleventh hour yet, but the Cowboys have been a bit lackadaisical with this position for a few years now. To their credit, it has sort of always worked itself out, but there is too much on the line to leave it to chance.

Dak Prescott set a career high in one category

The purpose of this game/discussion was not to disagree with the headline. It was a real headline from the future (both Marty and The Doc agreed) and the goal was to explain how it happened. So with that being the case, what area could you see Dak excelling in to the point that he sets a career high?

Brandon Clements had the best answer in my opinion with completion percentage. Dak’s career high is currently 68.8% (2021) but as we discussed he has a bevy of options to throw to. What’s more is that of his options he now has a new separator at wideout in Brandin Cooks, and lots of options to dump it down to underneath with Luke Schoonmaker and Deuce Vaughn joining the fold. Those completions still count towards the percentage marker.

While Mike McCarthy has not called plays for any part of Prescott’s career to this point, it is Dak’s fourth year with McCarthy as his head coach. Aaron Rodgers had a 68.3% completion percentage in his fourth season as the starter with McCarthy at head coach/calling plays, and what’s more won his first MVP award. That seems particularly bold so we won’t go there but just so you know.